You can apply the tips in this article throughout every aspect of your life, but I want to make this relevant to how to talk to girls.
I don’t know why, but this was one of the biggest sticking points that I had to deal with when I got into game. During a one-on-one I had with Adam Lyons many years ago, the first thing that he told me was that I needed to slow down how fast I talked, and it’s been something that I’ve been working on ever since.
The biggest shift in my success, came when I realised that when you approach a girl, YOU SHOULD BE IN NO RUSH TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. Blurting out your opener is definitely not the way to attract women. But if you know how to talk to girls, you stay composed, and deliver your opener in the correct way, you’ll be amazed at how much the entire interaction changes. Firstly the girl will respond a lot better to it, and secondly you’ll actually feel a lot calmer and more confident by doing it.
So when you open, just start talking SLOWLY.
If the girl begins to walk off, do not speed up what you are saying in the hope that you are going to convince her to stop. Remember that your VALUE dictates whether or not girls will want to stop and talk to you; rather than what you’re actually saying. So if a girl does start to walk off as you’re opening, CARRY ON talking at exactly the same pace as before.
Why is talking quickly such a bad thing?
Talking too fast communicates that you are the kind of person that expects people to ignore you. So never rush what you need to say!
Instead you can inject pauses between words, which will build anticipation and intrigue, so that you keep a girl interested in what you’re saying. If you watch interviews with high value people, notice how in their response to a question, they usually pause for a moment or two, with a contemplative expression on their face, resulting in a much more powerful response.
If there’s a pause in the conversation, practice NOT filling it, and EXPECTING her to. You’ll be amazed at how girls will put in the work, as long as you looked relaxed, as if you expect her to.
In regards to voice tone, when you talk, you want to make a habit of keeping your voice tone down to your chest area. This is very important as it communicates extremely high value and will attract women. Rather than saying “I like you – is that ok?”, and SEEKING HER APPROVAL, you’re sub-communicating “I like you, and I don’t give a fuck what you think of that.”
So for the next few approaches you do, really focus on communicating high value in the way you talk.
Andy
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This made a lot of sense. When I first started day game, I used to blurt out my opener really quickly, and the thing was, i didn’t really realise that I did it.
However when I do get excited when I see someone super cute, I do it again, I talk fast, or if I can manage to control the opener, during the conversation I tend to speed things up, not pausing, not relaxing. In the moment I tend to forget.
Do you have any techniques or solutions to help me slow down the speed of my speech, and to react more slowly, other than consciously trying to do it, because I tend to forget when I am in the moment and excited and it can come off pretty horribly.
@Pinnacle: A great thing to do, is to join Toastmasters public speaking. It’s a fun way of improving your speaking skills and will benefit you in game as well! On top of that, it will increase your self-confidence on many levels.
I’ve been a member for almost two years now, and a few weeks ago I did an interview and listened to my own voice. The funny thing is, I didn’t use any “ehms, ahs” to fill in the silent pauses, while in the past I did. So speaking from experience, I think this can help you.
Another easy way could be to read a book out loud, and become aware of your pace, and then slow it down. Practice in everyday conversations, this will transfer to your daygame approaches
” During a one-on-one I had with Adam Lyons many years ago ”
Lol. Andy, I believe Adam Lyons coached you back in 2007? It’s funny how you made it sound
lol. yeeeaaaarrrss ago. Back in 1971 I believe
Nice article. I’ve been practicing day(and night)game for a couple of months, and talking slowly and calmly is something that I still struggle with today. I can’t get reminded often enough to relax.
On an other note, I usually regard her filling the breaks as an IOI, since it obviously means that she wants the interaction to continue.
great article as usual. I have the same problem and it’s getting easier to catch myself talking very quickly.
what do u mean by keeping voice tone at chest level?
@guile Andys talking about the alpha male voice resonator: http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/In_the_Middle/alpha/715.html btw resonating from your gut is BLOODY HARD
@guile Andys talking about the alpha male voice resonator, google it. btw resonating from your gut is BLOODY HARD