Hey kids! As you all know I’m going through a big “Direct” shift in my game. It’s fun!
In this video I strive to get across what actually goes through my head when I see a beautiful woman…. And how I am 100% ok with telling her what’s going through my head, as well as hot attractive I think she is!
When I started this journey I was obsessed with openers. I could tell you 100 openers for a 100 situations. And hell, some of ‘em were pretty good! As I’ve been around for a while now, I see guys fussin’ about the same kind of things I was fussin’ about back then. What’s interesting is, I’ve found that by getting in touch with your inner ape man, and letting that ape man OUT – you actually cut out a lot of steps.
What am I talking about?
“What do I say to her?”
“How to I ask for her number?
“What if I run out of things to say?”
“How do I ask her out?”
“How do I make things sexual?”
When you’re in touch with your inner apeman – you don’t need to worry about this. When you speak from the ape “ME MAN. YOU WOMAN. YOU PRETTY. ME LIKE PRETTY WOMAN! You don’t have to worry about all those other details. They sort themselves out. All you have to be sure of are these three things.
- 1) You’re a heterosexual man.
- 2) She’s a woman
- 3) You are physically attracted to her, and would like to sleep with her/get to know her better.
That’s it. That’s all you have to know. What else is there? Not a lot. Just remember:
Some women will want to chat with you a bit before giving out their number. Be prepared to have a bit of chat before the interaction is done. Have SOMEthing to talk about… what you’re up to that day, or something interesting that’s happened recently. But, always remember you’re talking to her because you WANT TO HOOKUP WITH HER – and always push the interaction towards setting up a date!
Upon being opened directly, some women will test you to see if you really are a confident man. Don’t flinch. This is normal. Relax. Maintain eye contact. RELAX AND SMILE. She’s just another woman – one of millions. You, Ape man. You have chosen her – HER. She’s lucky she will have you to protect her from all the other ape man. LUCKY. Never forget this.
Keep the interaction short. 5 mins MAX. When you’re being direct, LESS IS MORE. Be that mysterious, confident guy. Get her number, have a little bit of chat, and GET OUT OF THERE! The more you talk, the more you fall into the “friend” zone. Some guy she spoke to for 25 minutes isn’t a mysterious sexy stranger. It’s her “friend.” Not good!
And remember: There are millions, MILLIONS of women out there you are compatible with. Most of the HOT ones you meet WILL have boyfriends. This is ok… you will have to speak to quite a few before you get somewhere. ENJOY IT! Love that feeling you get when you run up to a girl, and tell her she’s the hottest thing you’ve seen that year/week/hour. LOVE THE PROCESS! Enjoy meeting new people!
They’ll love you for it… and you’ll love you for it as well. And as an Added bonus, I’ll love you too!
That’s all for now, hope you enjoy the vid and leave some comments. I’ll be watchin’
Sasha
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Love the idea of just saying what’s on your mind! Great video!
Awesome hair to haha!
Sasha can you give any advice on how to continue being direct AFTER the initial approach? Say she agrees to the instant date, or a later one, and you meet up and suddenly you have an hour or two with her in a pub/cafe in which you need to keep up this nice enough but still sexy persona of someone who’s direct about his intentions with her…i.e. how to go about not ruining that sexual vibe, building lots of comfort and going into the friend zone by spending too much time on fluff talk (you mention in the vid that you used to have this problem after approaching and chatting to chicks for 20+min)…maybe you have some techniques, or (dare I say it) lines?
that’s what it’s all about, say the truth bluntly: “BAM – I like you – whats up?”. this is gold. thank you for this article, that’s where the game is headed
Great video! I wanna go out now! And I’m GONNA go out now and do it!
Good stuff.
You recommended against 20-minute interactions in these scenarios–
but it sounds like you don’t recommend against the insta-date.
What’s the difference between the 20 min chat and the 20 min insta-date chat?
Is the venue change thing that sets apart the insta-date?
Ok, well, Im not an expert at this stuff, just to make it clear that this is merely a suggestion and there is still room for interpretation. But, I think what he is trying to say is that with the whole instant date thing, it gives you an opportunity to get to know the girl a little better, so that she can qualify herself to you, even though its unnecessary, and also it allows for that whole thing of she’ll remember you better because she can remember that you guys did more than simply talk on the street (or wherever you see her). Also, unless a girl is just sitting on a bench or something, odds are that she is going somewhere and she’ll only have a few minutes to talk, so if you can get the instant date go for it, but if she just agrees to hook up later, you can just get her # and text her later.
Sasha could you please explain how would yo go about opening a 2 or 3 set ?
How do you tackle this issue?
Like only 1 girl interests you out of the 2
because I often find days when I just can’t find good looking solo girls for like 30 mins and meanwhile I kill these 2 -3 sets with the hottest girls of the day in them!
Swing:
Would take a while to go through my whole process of what I do on dates…. In short, If I’m on a date I like the girl enough to actually get to know her some…. So I’ll talk to her and find out everything about her I want to find out. Usually, I’ll play the question game. It’s not very “routiney” because you’re just asking questions – but – you can get very sexual very fast. I’ve recently written a fairly detailed post about this on my blog: Have a look here: http://www.sashapua.com/blog/the-question-game.html
Essentially, get to know her all you want, but don’t spend too much time on bullshit. This is leading towards sex. It’s just the pace that’s to be determined. Never forget either – once you decide you’re going to have sex THAT night, you really have to go for it. Don’t mess about. IF you think it’s on – go for it as soon as you know you can get it. If you wait – flinch – it’s too late, moment is gone, mood changes – it’s over.
Dagobert: Heh – Game was there 20,000 years ago. We just got fucked up in the last 50 years or so. We’re just BRINGING IT BACK TO OLDSCHOOL!!
Julia: So, did you go out… what happened??
JR: Good question. Generally Instant date is great because it can lead to sex. I’ve done that a few times (2 weeks ago went for coffee, then for sex at mine with a girl I met at a bus stop) ….. I suppose go for the instant dates if the logistics are good for sex. She’s free and has time etc. If you can’t sleep with her – it might be better to get her number and fuck off. But – if it’s between getting her number being direct, and being direct and going on an instant date (when there’s NO logistics for sex) .. tough call. Hey, if there’s a good connection between you and the girl, go for it. It will be fun, and you may very well see her again (As you’ve hung out and gotten to know her)
What should be avoided is having a 10/15/20/25 minute conversation on the street where you’re not being clear about your sexual intentions. It’s boring, she won’t remember it, and she’ll meet another guy 5 minutes after you walk away. That’s shit. I’d say generally just go for the instant date when you can. It’s a special kinda magical thing that’s awesome. I’ll have to experiment more with this actually…. I’m only really just starting to do “super direct” stuff now (Just did my most direct set EVER tonight in fact!) – Which was in 2 minutes the girl agreed to sleep with me off a cold approach (But, I couldn’t do it!)
Hope this helps, you slaaaaaaaaaaags!!
Sasha.
Sasha you crack me up. Not only is what you say funny, your whole personality and the way you say things is absolutely hilarious. I want to learn how to develop this skill! Is there a seminar or something out there that could teach me how to be more funny?
my question is a little odd, but originally i learned the whole mystery method, and contrary to popular belief it does work for daygame (just not as effective as direct stuff). However, theres this girl I met a while back that I have really come to like, unfortunately when we met I had not been exposed to direct game and thus just stuck to material that i had already practiced and memorized. Now, I want to use direct, in every scenario not just this one, but I feel that it would be really strange to all of a sudden start calling her hot and sexy all the time. Right now i throw it in sometimes but not all that often, like it sounds like you do. So should I transition to direct and not worry about it or should i continue on the path I’m on now and just wait till the next girl to go direct the whole way through?
Sasha just read the stuff on the question game – love it, cant wait till my next date to use it..thanks again mate, I genuinely appreciate the fact that youre helping us guys out here FOR FREE, it shows you’re truly altruistic. Good on you sir!
I fucking love your videos sasha, you’re straignt up BOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Hennessy:
I’m actually making a video explaning the sickest way to stop 2 sets
that always works….. i’ll stick it up soon and you’ll see for yourself
NUGUY:
Yea man, be up front with all girls from now one.
For ones you haven’t been so with: It MAY be too late but you can always try!
Just be honest – tell them you’ve always fancied them and that ya’ll should take your relationship to the next level. Explain you can be friends, and still have sleep together. It’s harder to do this once you’ve been friends but nothing is impossible
Interestingly I just coached a young guy over skype who had a fucking ton of female “Friends” and wouldn’t escalate. I yelled at him and was like “you wanna have 30 girls FRIENDS you’re not sleeping with, or 3 that you are? who cares if 27 tell you to fuck
off if you hookup with 3 girls!”
So, 48 hours later he’s slept with 2 girls, and he told me that he had WAY MORE RESPECT from one of the girls he went direct on that turned him down. Very interesting shit.
More about that here:
http://www.sashapua.com/blog/virgin-mode-one-manwhore.html
@Swing- Cool bro yea question game is THE SHIT. Honestly, it’s fucking awewsome.
It’s so easy and so awesome. Almost makes it too easy
@Chachaji – hehe KaPoW!!! no wait, there’s somethin else I wanna say to you….
(If that didn’t work, it was a picture of a massive BOOM) lol
Great video, Sasha. Looks so simple. Why does not everyone do it???
Actually Badboy claims it doesn’t work for fucked up guys without strong male role model unless you brainwash them into different way of thinking at bootcamp. Do you agree with that from experience?
Wow this is gold!! Blowing my mind.
bro u have any demo of you doing ur stuff on the field?????
awesome
)
can’t wait for the vid and then to try it out
Hey Sasha, I used your opener on a hot girl on Facebook, it went like this:
Me: Excuse me (name), you are so hot, I actually don’t know what to say to you, that’s number 1. Number 2, you will have to give me a moment here because I’m speechless, how are you so cute? Guys are going to be out there, they are going to be fighting over you, they are going to be punching each other in the face, guys are going to be driving their cars and smashing their cars into buildings because this is how hot you look. What is this? What are you doing?
Her: Lmao, thank you for the lovely sweet compliments Antonio, I am so blushing. x
Me: Ha, ha, you’re welcome, as you can tell (hopefully) I am upfront and direct and I cut out the unnecessary bullshit, and I would have been kicking myself if I didn’t say it.
To be continued…
saying your “fucking hot” and all of that other direct stuff just seems bold and weird to me. like i would expect a slap if i ever had the balls to say anything like that to a woman i dont know out in public…
lol its worth a try tho, even if i do get slapped;)
McDonalds I’m lovin’ it! Direct baby!
Sasha,
Why is that you disagree with yad and andy with regards to openers?They seem to like direct that ‘doesnt give her everything’, so they do they ‘I like your outfit/hair’ stuff but you use more looks based stuff hot/sexy/etc
Both can’t be right, one has to be better than the other
Regards,
Don’t be fooled
In one of his interviews Andy, too, sad he likes to do ‘hardcore’ direct, but it’s not consistent in hooking sets.
When you go really direct, like Sasha, you give the girl a choice: either stay and (eventually) approve or leave. When you go semi-direct, you have a higher chance that the girl will stay and talk to you.
Usually guys that take the bootcamps can’t even talk to a girl and it’s virtually impossible to, out of the blue, then go direct.
Sasha,
what do you think about adding just a little bit of qualification after the fluff talk as a ‘reason’ to hang out? Instead of just going direct and saying ‘lets hang out’ implying you are doing that because of her looks, what about adding another reason like ‘I like your energy’ ‘positivity’ or whatever you can find to qualify her on it. Wouldn’t that help a bit?
First I’d like it if there were way more videos posted on Daygame.com. Particularly infield vids as I do like the philosophy of the site and all the instructors’ styles.
Secondly, I am going to start saying more what I’m thinking but it still has to be expressed correctly so as not to seem weedy and rapport seeking. Loads of girls get comments like ‘youre so beautiful’ and have only one reply ‘thanks bye’. But I know that sasha means that you follow it with more conversation to convey geniune clearly defined intent, not just as a one liner.
Hey,
You’re perfectly right about the quick change of mood, I’ve experimented it. You’re upfront, girl is ok, comes sexy at the date but when you tell her that you won’t have sex cause you have to work early, you never see her again.
That said, 2 questions :
- does that work for hot girls ? I mean really hot girls rarely stop when I begin the direct bullshit, they go yeaaah not interested, bye. I’m rather cute and well-dressed but I get that all the time with the hot ones.
- I don’t believe a normal, cute, healthy girl would fall for that approach. It’s good for sex and fucked-up girls. What do you think about that ?
Keep up the videos
Antonio……. good that u tried it. But remember it’s not an “opener” ….. it’s what i felt at the time. Nex time look at the women and ask yourself what you’re really thinking and feeling – then go and tell her that.
Mitch: You’re worried about getting a slap – you haven’t even fucking tried it yet. What else are you worried about? Maybe a comet will run into the earth tomorrow, maybe u should just dig a hole in the ground and not come out? Stop worrying and go do it! Sure it’s bold, that’s why it works…. weird??? To me, seeing a beautiful woman walk by and not complimenting her – that’ s weird. What’s the matter? You don’t think she’s hot? Are you gay? Doesn’t your dick work? MAybe you should go to the doctor and get checked out?
Robert: Both can be right. Lots of things work. Indirect / Direct. It all can work. You have to figure out what feels right for YOU. What works for YOU. I just know what I want to be doing. If I see a woman and the only thing in my brain is “OMG SHE IS FUCKING HOT” I feel like a fake if i tell her anything else. That’s just me. So I tell her.
Someone else asked “sometimes they say thanks and walk away” … yea sometimes they do. So what? If I like ‘em I’ll run after them and let them know i really like them. if they’re still not interested, then they’re not interested. i’ll talk to the next girl. But i’m not going to beat around the fucking bush. what’s the point? To get rejected by them in 30 minutes instead? Or maybe i’ll prefer to be someone i’m not, fuck them – and then have them never see me again because i’m not the guy i pretended to be? no thanks. i’d rather not get laid at all than to do it that way
Tony: How do you know what the guys that take bootcamps are like? Are you teaching bootcamps? You’d be amazed what some guys can do who go on a bootcamp. Some of them can do just about anything they want within a few hours. Depends on a lot of things. But yea you wouldn’t take a newbie and make him go ultra direct. You gotta get him into the groove first. It’s not for everyone and it’s not for pussies or newbs. you may have to build up to it. I think we can all get there though.
Max: Yea you said it. I’ll state at the start what my intent is. If they stick around, i know there’s interested and i’ll continue to talk to ‘em and get to know them. Once I figure out what i want i’ll let them know. Could be a date, or a fuck right then. I want them to reject me right away if they’re not interested …. mode one is mainly about that – not wasting your fucking time on women that aren’t interested. i’m willing to loose a few women that maybe i’d have gotten being less direct, in order to cut out all the one’s that would have wasted my fucking time immediately. it’s worth the sacrifice.
Messagerie: That’s bullshit man. You’re doing something wrong somewhere. Hot girls respond better to direct/mode one behavior that average girls, in my experience.
wait a sec – “it’s good for sex” ?????? So what, normal, good lucking girls won’t just “have sex” with a guy? Just fucked u girls have sex? WHAT?!?!?! You are going wrong somewhere. I don’t know where, I’d have to see you in an interaction… I have taken several hot girls straight back … just like that. BOOM! And it’s done. Either you look scared, are approaching them wrong, have a bad/uncomfortable vibe….. aren’t smiling. you’re going wrong somewhere. Next time this happens stop the girl and ask her why she wasn’t interested… keep doing this until one of them tells u the reason. offer them coffee for their feedback….
Sasha,
after you get the contact information do you call and request the meet up right away or do you chat a few minutes?
man this video was over 10 minutes and I just punched myself in the face!
anyway, quick question… it’s actually the same as Tony’s question above. Also what’s your take on text game? Do you build a connection over text, or send out funny text messages, or do you go for the meetup straight away?
WOW!!! im kinda confused… i think that direct is ten times easier than all those other methods out there, MeHow/ Mystery/ Cocky/ Funny/ and what ever othe bullshit. Why? cause you dont have to remember damn lines. So glad I found Daygame.com and now Sasha introducing David X and Alan Roger!
You guys? Damn your asking Q’s that are pretty much covered in the video. Someone asked “how do you open a 2-3 set…” well if you go up and tell a girl she’s smokin’- switch it up and tell all 2-3 that they are smoking togther and they should called the London Divas or the Bring-it On babes…or some shit like that.
One of you guys asked, “Sasha, your a funny guy, how can I be more like that….” You can’t that’s his natural character… My suggestion and that’s how I learned, watch allot of stand-up comedians. Learn their mannerism’s and watch the BEST not all sitcoms. really listen to the jokes. One of my favoites is the old Who’s line is it amyway. that show is pure adlib and its funny as hell.
It has started to change my life, even at work, in everyday life too…
Day It Up….
Bear In Cali
Lodnon Guy – do you realize your name is misspelt, or you’ve don that on purpose because “London Guy” was taken?? To a degree all training is brainwashing to a degree. Anytime you replace a part of your programming with better (or at least newer) programming, you’re being brainwashed. Even by just reading this message right now, I’ve brainwashed you – if only a little bit
Santiago: I’m working on it – Hopefully I’ll stick something up on here soon or on sashapua.com
Tony: Not sure about your question… it implies that I could possibly call a girl and ask her out, while standing in front of her. Which is funny, and something I’ve done before – but wait I think I know what you mean. In the past I’ve texted girls trying to meet up but the flake rate was high. I find it’s better to call them, chat a bit (maybe have one interesting/fun thing in mind) and see how the conversation flows. If it flows well, make plans! If it doesn’t, get off the phone… call them later when you have something exciting to tell them – or alternatively maybe try your hand at text game!
I say try both and see what works better for you. But, if you’re texting do send ‘em something fun or interesting. “hey we should meet up” doesn’t generally do the trick unless they’re in love with you already. Awesome text I’ve used before is “
Bear: Thanks for coming to my aid, lol. Direct is for sure easier…it just takes balls. Indirect routines and BS like that are a crutch that people can hide behind. It’s kind of the easy way out – but ironically it’s a lot harder to learn. So it’s not really easier, it just protects your ego more. Well fuck that. Ego is bullshit, we all need to kill our ego’s. The world would be a better place.
few weeks ago, b4 i found this gem of a site, i thought f it, after i saw a hottie meandering thru town…she was wearing stillatos with a figure huggin dress and long blond her, perfekt.
she walked past me, and i’d had a bit of a shitty day n thought, i gotta chat to her, cos, as she’d walked passed me, she gave me a messaging stare, and a smile, which i knew was measured, cos we were in publix.
so, i thought rite, andoff i went, staying out of my head n watching the rythym of her hips, i was walkin quite fast, and her slow, so she musta heard me come up behind her, tho i walked passed her first, just enought that i was in her peripheral.
then i said, hi, she said hi back, and i straight away acknowledged her reply by saying, can i just say you look so hot right now, and i’d love to make love to you…
she was totally ok with it, n smiled with i have a boyfriend, i sais,i’m sure u do, n i have a gf…i’d still love to make love to u.
she left herself wide opn, and i said there’s somethin about the way u walk, it’s so very sexual, i’ve been watching the rythym of your hips while i followed u, your gorgeous…this is where i kinda lost my nerve, she was fine
we were walking down a huge staircase, and she said, i need to go this way, and i said ok, i’m going the other way…then from nowhere she goes ‘you going anywhere nice’ i was like (in my hed) oh man! i said well i was hoping too, then left…that’s what happend, she was foreign too, really tasty…anyhow no cigar but lovely interaction, and is leadin me more to direct shit, luv it!
u got great energy sasha, people can learn about comedy, cos much of it is about points of view, comedy teaches that right, then mix that blend with pua, what a winner, k that’s me out.
What is so impressive about direct opener? According to people from forums hot girls are tired of guys telling them how hot they are. So how is direct opener going to work?
Awesome. This is what I’ve been looking for. I hate the whole beat around the bush concept. I want to be the guy who just puts it all out there and not be so intimidated by all the lame pc BS. The challenge is doing it while I’m working and in uniform I had a girl once call my boss for just giving a compliment on how great she looked. Blew my mind and sent me into a tailspin for a long time. Thanks for helping me clarify where I want to fit in this community.
That’s a great post dude. The more brutally honest you are the more genuine and believable you sound and there is no other way cause it’s congruent with YOU.
Hi, good video, I also think direct is the more honest and natural way. However, what do you think about a below average guy going direct? Not that I consider myself one, just wondering… I mean, there’s a hot girl who could get almost any man, and a short, balding, skinny guy walks up to her and tells her she’s really hot and would like to meet her… The girl doesn’t know anything of him except
a, he looks bad
b, he’s confident
So what, will this really convince her to get invested in that guy?
nice vid – just to add….I think instead of standing on street talking to them for 25 mins, you should do what i call a time extension and walk with them, to the end of road at least. As you’re side on, it is less threatening and you can get to know her better than in a pressure cooker environment of standing infront of them on street. By the end of the road you should try and create the instant date by dragging her into starbucks. If you get their number, text her 2 mins later to get a text thread going early…. this will also test to see how interested she is in you.
Peace
http://www.meetup.com/Female-Formula/
I couldn’t disagree more.
By following her you’re putting far MORE pressure on the interaction, cause now she’s thinking “oh god he’s following me, what if he turns out to be a weirdo? How am I gonna get rid of him?”.
By stopping her in her tracks and standing still, she feel far more comfortable as she knows she has the choice to end the interaction whenever she wants.
John, it sounds like you are getting success from this, so well do for that. But it sounds like you’ve gotten good at “ploughing” through a bad initial approach… so you’re approaching badly, she feels uncomfortable and continues walking, and you walk with her and plough till she is interested. Well done for ploughing, but if you work on your initial approach you won’t need to do that.
To put it simply: If a girl doesn’t want to stand and talk to you, then you’re doing something wrong. You need to work on that area of your game until gir’s DO want to stay and talk to you instead of spending time practicing your ability to fix your bad approaches by walking with her.
Hope that helps,
Andy.
What if I’m having very explcitit sexual thoughts. How much is too much to say during an approach?
sometimes I see a girl and think “damn I want to lick her butt hole!” Should I tell her that?
awesome vid man. i think this is an evolution, so simple of course it took us so long to figure it out lol.
keep it simple guys, it’s the over-analyzing that makes things harder than they have to be.
Great video Sasha! Very useful stuff here.
I have a question- I live in Seoul, South Korea, and the prevailing viewpoint here is that direct game does not work well with Asian women, and I was taught this on my bootcamp with Pickup Asia. I actually have never run it because of this, but I’m thinking about running a ‘veiled direct’ approach, which is basically
1) open with something indirect such as ‘where is xyz?’ and then when she starts answering say
2)’actually, I didn’t really need to know that, I just wanted to talk to you because you’re cute.’ It seems like a good compromise- direct, but soft.
What has been your experience with running direct Asian sets?
Thanks a lot man!
Hi Sasha and Andy,
Thanks for the great videos – really impressed by the quality of explanations – very helpful and make sense.
I’m a bit confused on the Sasha vs Yad and Andy’s videos, where Sasha, you mention talking about what she is wearing is boring and why would she want to hear about that. on Yad and Andy’s clips it mentions statements sourced ‘from the moment’, like who she is or what she is wearing – which one is best in general? i mean how would one be better for some people and not for others – from your experiences do girls find that boring and ‘i’ve heard this before’ type of responses?
One final question – Sasha – when you do the direct openers and tell the girl what you are feeling, do you then try and make an emotional connnection – becuase wouldn’t it otherwise seem like a builders comment shouting out to girls walking past -just being direct without emotional connection even if you have a chat with her and show you are a normal guy – wouldn’t she say wow – ballsy guy, nice normal guy but what special connection or special was there about our 3 minute chat or however long it was?
thanks again for the material – great stuff. looking forward to seeing more videos
R
I love all the stories on here, including sasha. I have one for you as well. I call it the traffic light take down. Listen up. I was at a traffic light and I saw this FUCKING hot asian in a car behind me. So I slowed down and caught the light on red. Got out of my car, approached her and said “license and registration”! She responded by opening her glove box and I then said. I AM KIDDING! I then reminded her that it was illegal to be talking on her cell in pa. She told me she knows but everyone does it. I go you know what everyone else also does? SHe said what? I Said. Asks a bold guy like me out for coffee and convo. She said well I can give you my #. I took it down and then took her down after a sweet convo, walk in the moonlight, and some coffee somewhere in there. Ty to the pick up community for letting me have this gift to learn. SO FUCKING GOOD. Keeno Jags.
Hi. Love your stuff. You’ve opened up a new world for me when it comes to daygaming!
One question, aren’t you afraid of giving the girl too much value by saying she is ”fucking beautiful” or ”one of the hottest girls I’ve seen”? Is it not bad to give her that much value at the beginning of a conversation?
Thank you, keep it up. Love this site!!
sasha, will I be able to pick this all up naturally if i just approach women??
feels so good to breathe the fresh air of honesty and authenticity