The Art of Picking Up Women Is Knowing What To Say After ‘Hello’

By on April 14, 2010

I personally think this is going to be one of the most popular videos on this entire site.

Because once you realise that going up to a girl and starting a conversation is infact very easy, you’ll then realise that the hard part is actually continuing the conversation!

It doesn’t take long to master the approach – but it’s the transition (or ‘bridge’ as we call it) that gets most guys vocal cords in a twist.

So many people think the art of picking up women is knowing the best openers. I’ve lost count the amount of guys who ask me what the best opener to use is. The opener really isn’t important! Me and Yad like to open with compliments. Easy to do, and if done in the right way is a great way to start a conversation.

But we know that the opener is just that; and ‘opener’. It just starts the conversation. Now we’ve started it, we need to know where to take it from here.

The REAL art of picking up women is knowing how to TRANSITION.

Me and Yad call this phase of the interaction The Bridge, because it takes you from where she isn’t sure if she wants to talk to you (or flat out doesn’t), over to where she DOES want to talk to you. The space inbetween is the bridge.

Has this happened to you before?

You see a beautiful girl, you approach, you open with a compliment, she is surprised and flattered and says thank you.

Then there’s a pause.

“Emergency! Emergency! Scramble all brain cells, repeat, scramble all brain cells! This is not a drill! This is NOT a drill!”

But your grey matter is on holiday.

Nothing in your mind but an acute sense of panic.

Finally you say the only thing that you can squeeze out of your cranium:

“So…. what are you up to?”

She looks towards the direction she was originally heading in, turns back to you and says “I’m really sorry but I’m in a bit of a rush, I really have to go. It was nice meeting you.”

And it’s over.

Why?

Because you tried to transition using a question; and a big open ended one at that!

The Bridge is simple, but so very effective. Here’s how it goes. This is the where the art of picking up women is at.

The bridge is made up of statements. Statements that YOU make.

It’s only through making statements that you can demonstrate your personality, your character and thus your value as a man. You aren’t going to demonstrate anything by just asking her a series of questions.

And there’s a simple way to turn all your questions into statements, and that is by making ASSUMPTIONS about her. Think ‘cold reading’, except it doesn’t matter too much if you’re accurate. The cool thing about making an assumption about someone is that if you get it wrong, they will feel compelled to correct you. If you get it right, they will feel compelled to tell you so. Either way, you’re prompting an answer out of them, but by making a value based statement – rather than a value-devoid question.

Very powerful stuff. Half the battle of being able to attract women is about being able to talk, and keep talking, and with this rule, you will be a master of the art of picking up women!

One last thing for you guys to remember when practising this is what I call the Conversational Safety Net.

If ever you think you’re getting stuck, and you can’t think of anything to say, remember this: Statement, question, statement, question, statement, question etc.

The statement you make (if you’ve run out of assumptions), is just about the last thing that she said. If you remember this rule, you will NEVER run out of things to say ever again, because you can just make a statement about the last thing she said – no matter what it is!

I hope this helps guys,

As usual, if you have any comments or questions for this article: “The Art of Picking Up Women Is Knowing What To Say After Hello”, please leave them below!

Andy Yosha

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39 Comments ... Read Them Below or  Add One
  • Cool, great video as always.

    A lot to do in the beginning a spontaneous opener then going straight into an assumption, I guess it comes with practice being a quick thinker for the opening and transition.
    Would you still transition with something like you look like you come from ______ when the person is a local girl not many tourist where I am compare with London?

    Keep up the great work.
    Thank you to you and the time for all the effort you guys are putting into this site.

  • Always best to say something contentious. She’ll disagree and you can tease and drop negs.

    My opener is:

    Hey, I saw you walking along and I thought, this girl is beautiful, so I just had to come up and say it.

    >PAUSE>

    But I’ve got to say, I’m not a fan of [insert comment about her clothes/hairstyle etc].

    This has to be said in a jokey way though. No sounding bitter boys!

  • Great post and great site as well!!!

    You guys should know that some people like me in Brazil are learning a lot from you and doing the best to show your work to everyone.

    Wish you success always!

  • billyfish  »  April 15, 2010 at 7:15 am

    Andy, your a fricking legend.

    this was a big stumbling block of mine. i went out yesterday and, like normal they gave me one word answers at the beginning so i threw in some assumptions and she loved it!

    Thanks man
    love your website

  • AFC Oldman  »  April 15, 2010 at 8:17 am

    “Either way, you’re prompting an answer out of them, but by making a value based statement – rather than a value-devoid question.”

    So true, like someone said in the podcast (Can’t remember who) is that: Statements add value and questions take it away.

    Great video, I can’t wait to go practice this when I get off work today :)

  • I can’t wait to see videos of you and yad approaching .

  • Excellent stuff guys!

    A good exercise to train this might be to look up pictures of girls on the internet and try to think of something to say, like the statements or a way to put a compliment (like in the compliment video). I’m currently doing 10 of these each day at the comfort of my own home to change my focus on what to say about/to the girls. Currently I’ve done 50 of these and am already seeing improvements. What I’m doing is basically this:

    1) Pink flower shirt girl

    7:28 – 7:36 (8 minutes)
    Love your necklace, it sparkles very nice in the sun, you can see it from far away! You could be in a movie where you can see yourselves walking towards the camera from miles away :D Have you ever thought about acting, or am I just getting it right in one go? :P

    So above was my first attempt which took me about 8 minutes to come up with. Later I was improving on how long it takes (not all is very good but I’m learning myself)

    33) Very hot brunette

    10:46 – 10:49
    You’re in good shape, are you jogging often? It always cost a lot of energy but in the end it’s totally worth it you know.

    This way I’m getting better at reading a girl and being more creative to come with things to say. Also trains my banter a little bit I guess as sometimes I just write the stupid/funny things which come up in my mind. A good website for this is hotornot.com as you can choose pictures of girls you think are nice (which you would like to approach), quite a lot of ‘m are fairly hot. And some have a description of what kind of person they are so you can match it against your cold readings, and inspire you for more. I’m already surprised how often I am getting it right.

    So, hope this may be a good exercise for more people… Sorry for the long text! And thanks Andy, once again for the awesome tips!

  • Heyyy andy, thats a good stuff out there, yeahh mate its all make senses. I’m using your webbies as my homepage. Cant wait to hear more from you guys.

    Cheers,
    Shaz
    Singapore

  • First off – AWESOME site design. Really. The video post-production and the site really sends a message of quality. I am enjoying these videos, as daygame has always been an issue for me, I have never felt comfortable opening strangers, and I’m hoping that with time, practice, and these videos, it may push me in the direction I want to go.

    My only critique – is please keep your videos stream-able. This current video is very large and choppy for me compared to your other videos. The other videos stream quickly, and are still good quality.

    Thanks guys – please keep it up.

    • Hi SG,

      Thanks for letting me know – it is a bit slow isn’t it. I thought it was just my internet connection.

      I’ll get my video editor to look at it and hopefully replace it with one that loads better.

      Thanks again!

  • This video is ~450MB. That would LITERALLY take me about 9 hours to stream/download. Most of the others are closer to 50MB iirc, which is fine (I already know and accept the problems with slow internet).
    PLEASE make them smaller.

    • Hi James,

      Yeah my video editor has done somethingthing different with this video – I’m getting him to redo it and the new video will be replacing this one soon. I’ll put a comment below here once it’s updated with a more streamable version!

      Sorry for the inconvenience, he’s just experimenting with ways to make the quality better.

  • All this has been very helpful so far but one thing I want to ask about (didn’t really know where to ask about this).

    Basically all the content I’ve seen here so far as all been based around one on one interactions, however will you be posting anything on how to talk to a girl if she’s in a group with her friends?

    Cheers

  • Thanks a lot for great videos and great tips!

    Can’t wait for something in the “Newbie Missions” section…

  • Hey guys, awesome videos you’ve been putting up! Would be great to see some videos of you guys doing some live approaches, to get an overall idea of it.
    Though it’s cool to hear you talk about it too.
    Keep up the good work!

  • ANDY SMASHING IT UP BOOYAHHHHH

  • Hey, great site !
    You’re very right about transitionning. This is key.

    btw, what’s the brand of your leather jacket ? I love it !

  • Yo Andy where’s this smaller filesize video? :D

  • Hi guys!

    Just swapped the video with the FIXED version of the video, so it streams perfectly now. Sorry for the wait!

  • These videos are great! This is my favorite PUA website. It is simple and to the point and all the material is sound. I have read numerous PUA books starting with The Game, on to Mystery Method, D’Angelo, Gambler, and etc… I still prefer your method(Daygame)to any of those. The great thing is that all your videos have been the best parts of each of their different methods only simplified and made into your own. The openers, transitions, how to deal with rejection, are all spot on. I also like how you guys are normal guys that people would like to hang out with and not crazy peacocked uber nerds. I feel like I can relate, unlike some of the other methods. Please open the forum soon, so I can hang out. :P

  • Oh and one final note, do you plan on having a video for each section on the “Video tutorials by topic” bar on the right hand side of the page? I would love to see some videos on Newbie missions, and being direct. Inner game is a huge one as well, and I would welcome videos on that topic.

    Thanks again for the best pua website!

  • The guessing thing really worked out!! it freezed them out, and I stayed for way longer time in sets, thanks man :)

  • That is what it is OMG how did i not know that thank you so much

  • Brilliant post my friend, I done something exactly the same as this on the weekend, I opened a 3 set (during the evening) and somehow correctly assumed where they were from and what jobs they all did… works amazingly well, especially if you get it right! The value goes through the roof!!

    Keep it up mate :)

    Andy

  • Hey this stuff is great! it sounds a little bit like jugglers style. Which to me is very cool. Its not so tricky pua-ish.It’s more honest and real. Thanks for the great vid:)

  • i dont believe this site and here is why. [in a non "unhelpful and negetive way].
    1,those PUA’s are young. would a man in his 40′s have such luck?
    2,PUA’s always say looks hardly count.so would someone who looks like something from the canteen in Star Wars be able to seduce daygame?
    3,if a woman is busy,no patter and natter will stop her.
    4,many women today [thanks to creeps and losers] are double wary of men who approach them.
    5,isn’t seduction ALL a numbers game and only someone with a rhino strong ego who can take 50 “get lost” to get to the 2 “yes” wins?
    i mean, really, daygame guys help me out on this one. im 39,funny and ok looking but i KNOW this approach will leave disastor zone memories for me. i am willing to be proven wrong and willing to try it,but,business minds aside,i am right.right? email me,guys and let me know.i ill try your stuff and write up my report.but be honest!

    • Hi Henry,

      Let’s answer your questions:

      1) The best guy I EVER taught was 43.

      2) No, someone from the canteen in Star Wars would have a hard-time dating – we just mean that looks don’t matter anywhere as much as people think. Women want you to be well groomed, have good hygiene and be well dressed… but you can overcome most things with enough charisma/game. Does Yad look like the kind of guy who attracts women? This is Yad – http://www.daygame.com/2010/videos/great-body-language-to-attract-women-while-they-talk/

      3) This is simply untrue – your belief is based on ASSUMPTION, not evidence. I have taught hundreds of guys and done thousands of approaches. That’s ALOT of approaches combined, so my knowledge that women LOVE to be stopped, even if they are ‘busy’, is based on hard earnt. experience.

      4) Again, this is an assumption – based on how you’ve witnessed women react to men approaching IN BARS AND NIGHTCLUBS. How many approaches have you seen done (correctly) in the day-time? I’ve seen thousands.

      5) To some degree yes – but with the right training you MASSIVELY increase your chances with a girl on the street.

      You say that you KNOW this approach will leave disaster zone memories for you. How do you KNOW? On what experiencial evidence do you assert this belief? You KNOW that you will fall if you jump off a cliff, because you EXPERIENCE the effects of gravity every day. Anything that you have no experience of you can only guess and assume what will happen until you TEST theories out to see if they hold any truth. But you have to enter the experiment open minded, otherwise you risk sabotaging it just to reaffirm a pre-existing belief.

      This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes – “The prover proves what the thinker thinks”

  • What I’d like to suggest is to use some examples in your video (or text). You (Andy) explain the method fairly good but giving examples clarifies a whole lot. You could e.g. give a “statement, question,statement” example.

  • wow, I LOVE that idea of making a question into an assumption statment! THANKYOU SO MUCH please post more advice like this!

  • I can do openers but how do i make a statement and assumption am a little confused can anybody show me a example of how the conversation would go thanks guys!

  • Michael B  »  April 20, 2013 at 8:18 am

    I like ply in a little mysterious a lot of women like that

  • what do i do after i get her number? i wouldnt want to just leave her there and she might think i did all that just to get her number.

  • You are a genius. Tried statement then question and my first time it worked.

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