I used to have crippling approach anxiety.
I remember the first time I hit Oxford Street with the intention of practicing Daygame. My goal was to approach as many women as I could in the 4 hours I had free.
I walked up and down Bond Street and Oxford Street for 4 hours.
4 long hours.
And I didn’t approach a single girl.
You can probably imagine how I felt after that. Not that great.
If only I knew this simple technique then. I’d have know how to get myself approaching, even if my approach anxiety was CRIPPLING!
Check out the video above – I take you through this process that I developed to combat my own approach anxiety, and later, to combat the approach anxiety of my students.
Let me know what you think!
Andy.
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Thanks man! If the goal is to just get into daygame state it makes things much easier and funner! The process of it is great!
You should do the free webinar again! I missed it lol.
Do you know what I like more about you? That you are HONEST! You don’t give magical formulas but credible information. You want to make a live from this but not a rip off. I am new in this community but I am definitely look no further.
You are a real inspiration. Congratulations!
Very good advice Andy! I discovered something similar to this a month or two ago only I called it “social warming”. I would start out “cold” meaning in my own head, and start talking to people and “warming up” until I got “hot” and was ready to go. The same principal, only you put it more clearly. Thanks for this!
Good video Andy,
I seen Anthony Robbins do the same sort of thing with state.
Where he would ask where are you from 1-10 and if you say 4 instead of jumping from 4-10, it would be like what needs to happen to make it a 5. And after you have done that what needs to happen to make it a 6 and so on.
Never thought about doing it with pua stuff.
Keep up the good work.
ANNDDYYY!!! Its been too long since you uploaded a video. This video is Gold, as soon as you explained it, it just made perfect sense, I love it!
I walk away from staring at my laptop for 4 hours and then wonder why its difficult to just pull…now I know why! Wicked!
This video is amazing! Helped me a bunch! Thanks!
Hey Andy
Great presentation! I think like you and many other guys I have had big anxiety about approaching in the daytime but sometimes its not anxiety but either hesistation or I’m getting tired. Something that has helped me and although sounds a little nuts is I imagine every girl who walks past me having freaky sex. It could be any type of girls, nerds, hot girls, fat girls, MILFs and this actually causes a shift in me to keep approaching, infact it worked so well I was able to number close a cute German girl.
Keep up the good work! Let me know if you fancy a change from London and check out Oxford, its beautiful and is absolutely awesome for daygame although a lot smaller than London!
Amazing. That will definitely be very helpful.
Amazing stuff! Makes sense! I just did an approach, without state shifting…or so I thought. Before that, I had a drink and a chat with a good friend of mine. So without realizing, I shifted my state from sitting behind a computer, to chillin out in the sun with some friends…and finally a direct approach
Hi Andy,
Great video. Thank you very much for the free lesson. I hope to meet you and Yad one time.
great advice, i couldnt agree more, ive had days where my friend calls me up and brings me along to pick up girls, but sometimes im just not feeling it and i dont know how to react. One thing ive found that helps me reach that “daygame state” is to have a friend with me so that i am already sort of in a more playful state, so it doesnt seem totally weird to approach. Plus the idea of just being able to go back to hanging with my friend if it doesnt go well is always comforting to me. Good Stuff, keep up the excellent work
Amazing… I just experienced this the other day… I’m more of a nightgame type of guy and daygame has been scaring the shit out of me for ages… so I figured I’d just ask people the time, and gradually building it up (went on to opinion openers haha), and eventually went direct.
Awesome to see this vid explaining it in a very good way. All I knew was changing my goal from: “Doing 1 direct approach today”, to “Ask 3 people what time it is” made me less nervous. And then building it up made it easier.
Also, this is a much better explanation than Mystery’s vague: “Get into a talkative state”, and “Do warm-up sets”.
Genius! Thanks, Andy.
Truly inspiring video, Andy!
@Ethan
“social warming”
What a great metaphor.
@Roy
I like this kind of thinking in stages… it helps to give these little steps a shape, just like Andy did by giving examples on how to actually progress from that left side of the drawing board to the right side. For people who are clueless, it could really help to imagine a kind of path which one could take with those “little milestones” to get from “here” to “over there” and then associate certain things one could do, certain mindsets one could project or certain conversational elements one could try and put into practice… to just keep moving …to the kind of place where you want to be.
@Chachaji84
I totally agree! This “stage shifting” idea is so damn straight forward yet can be so hard to realize …or to live up to. It’s really more like pushing the rock uphill rather than having it roll downwards, which seems the straight forward thing to do, but doesn’t even nearly result in the same feeling as seeing it stand on the top of the hill.
@Tony
“Something that has helped me and although sounds a little nuts is: I imagine every girl who walks past me having freaky sex.”
Not quite on topic, but really fun to read!
@Robert
Indeed, that would be awesome. A friend of mine already enjoyed the pleasure of experiencing Yad for one afternoon and if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t even have known about Daygame.com and how exciting it can be to simply rid oneself of this closet mindset of how nobody is interested in you or me or how there’s little point in taking your time to enjoy yourself while simply being quite entertaining to others …yourself included.
@NUGUY
That is so true. If you’re as relaxed in a state as hanging out with your friend, sitting on a lovely bridge, enjoying the sun (set) while watching people go by, chatting, laughing, joking and just enjoying yourself… how could that not want to make you delve into it?
@Coldman
It sounds quite “technical” what you’re saying, but the truth is… it just helps to create the right mindset to be all playful. You’re not asking the time because you care about that or because you desperately need to hit on that girl. All it is, is a little step forward to being free to just do it. Could be the time or pretty much anything to get rid of that initial barrier which not only prevents from approaching the opposite sex (assuming you’re into that) but also prevents from getting to know those strangers who might just turn out to be the best friends you’ve ever had.
@Robin
To conclude… indeed!
Whenever I have a job interview I do something similar – I like to talk to five people on the way to the interview, just to get me in a talkative state.
nice video, really random Andy but where did you get that tshirt from?
All Saints, the one just off Oxford Street, kinda behing the big Topman. I love All Saints t-shirts
thanks dude, the one down here doesnt have it so hadnt seen it before, i agree all saints tees are hot
LOL i love this “we recommmend daygamers do not drink” otherwise they will be drunk hahahahaaha
Great video, Andy!
I think this is a great way for guys to get out of their comfort zone, because it doesn’t require them to go TOO far beyond the edge.
Hey Andy,
Just wanted to thank you for such a great website. Day Game is quite fascinating because it’s not only for days but also night. it’s not about game actually but more about being yourself in the right way. I watched your bootcamp live videos when they came out couple of weeks ago. next weekend I went out with my friends and focused fully on advice that you and Yad gave. Made three approaches and got 2 numbers. a week later I texted one of the numbers and I went out with that girl. Now, I am surprised how much the girl likes me and how badly I was looking for such a girl. AND it’s all because of you guys for giving out the right information to people around the world-I’m from Canada!! so Thank you so much. I owe you guys my indefinite happiness in past couple of weeks
Awesome!!
Great stuff Andy, might seem intuitive but very true nonetheless. There is however one problem as far I can see. What happens when you get out of the gym/work, sweaty, you hair is messy, no perfume and completely exhausted. Then a good looking girl walks by, and you are not quite there yet.
The question is: Go for it with not such a good energy or walk past her thinking “there will be another one later, I’m just tired”? The world does not stop just because you ain’t ready!
You know I’ve seen a lot of “cure approach anxiety” programs over the last year but i beleve this is the first one that actually would work. Thanks man, mad props!
You know I’ve seen a lot of “cure approach anxiety” programs over the last year but i beleve this is the first one that actually would work. Thanks man, mad props!
REALLY good video.
I think it’s a very useful belief that states shift gradually, and it’s not just a question of being ‘in’ or ‘out’ of state.
Nice to see guys coming up with something that’s new, useful and free! Keep it up lads.
I exercised in the morning. Then psyched myself up to go out and try it. Caught the bus. Went to the mall for 4 hours with approaching on my mind. Couldn’t do it. Will have to try again tomorow. Spoke to a bartender (to get some water) but she was quite rude. Will just have to keep trying.
That’s a fucking great theory congrats!
Thank you Andy! I’m fairly new to the PUA community and have always felt dissatisfied with all the club and night routines. It’s truly awesome to find a site devoted to the REAL GAME! Thank you for you time and energy!! (From the US)
Great video and really a lot of new stuff I did never look at stages in this kind of way….A real eye opener to try to crush approach anxiety…
Thanks !
Outstanding insight on the gap that we need to bridge after leaving our analytical, past and future-oriented 9-to-5 job. You surfaced an issue that most guys don’t recognize on a conscious enough level to deal with, and followed up with practical steps. I’d like to see more like this.
Great video (as always). Keep up mate!
Hey Andy,
This video was like a magic pill for me. I am a programmer by passion and as you said I’m always in that logical state.
I am interested in daygame the most. I am going out to meet girls everyday since last three weeks. And as you had wasted 4 hours doing nothing all my three weeks were wasted.
After watching this video I realized what I was doing wrong. I had always tried to shift from logical state to daygame state directly. I love your idea of shifting states “just a little bit”. I am going to try this regularly.. I had wasted 3 weeks as you wasted 4 hours and did nothing…. Seems like it all comes to your own mental state
Thanks a lot buddy…
Great Video Andy, think it boils down to one of life’s lessons
‘Taking small steps’
I think a lot of us watch other videos get all hyped up, and then get into the real world and think how the f**k am I going to do this?
I’ve started to state shift and am making really good progress, I find myself so much more sociable with random people and having a laugh. To the next small step!
Set yourself Up for Schyzofreny LOL !! .. No, seriously this is like the PUAs version of the “thinking hats”, and the best part is that you can use it in every aspect of life where you need a specific type of attitude. This is going into my notes file.
Useful but I think the best thing is to watch that George Clooney clip. You do the thing your scared most of and you get the courage after you do it not before. When you get off the tube Approach the first one you see!!
Good video. Even now after doing a lot of street game and day game it ca still be hard to get the ball rolling at the beginning of a session. Talking to shop staff as a small state shift as you call it, works well to get things moving.