I gave a talk last night to the London Seduction Society entitled “Fail More!”
In it I emphasised how getting good with women is something that can only be learned in an experiential way (i.e. going out and trying it). By experimenting, making mistakes, correcting them and trying again, you will progress.
Mistakes are simply vital reference points that should be embraced. I see all my interactions as things that could go well, or give me a reference experience (…a funny story at the very least).
Getting the rookie mistakes out the way as quickly as possible is vital. From teaching hundreds of guys on the street during bootcamps and individually, I can recognise these mistakes immediately.
Below are the Top 10 rookie mistakes of a daygamer. I’ve given them amusing names just to make it lighthearted. I have made ALL of these mistakes at some point when I was learning the daygame model, so don’t take them personally. Being able to laugh at them is a key part of getting better.
Top 10 Daygame Mistakes
1) Mr Creepy (Approaching incorrectly)
This guy can’t stop a girl. He touches her from behind, walks with her, tries to grab her, or jumps too close in front of her. The girl doesn’t know what he wants and panics.
She’s thinking: Call the Police!
2) Mr Stalker (Too serious, lack of vibe)
This guy can stop a girl, compliment her and begin a conversation but it’s all way too serious. He forgets to smile, body language is stiff, and there’s no teasing or playfulness to the pick-up.
She’s thinking: Get me out of here!
3) Mr Clown (too gamey, too entertaining, too funny)
This guy has read every Pick-Up book out there. He loves his lines, his routines, his jokes and his peacocking. The girl is laughing so he thinks he’s winning.
She’s thinking: Is this guy a children’s entertainer?
4) Mr Speedy Gonzalez (Talks too quickly, gives off nervous energy)
Everything’s100milesanhour! This guy doesn’t believe that people will listen to what he’s got to say, so he says it quickly. His nervous energy is often then matched by the girl, and the interaction spins out of control.
She’s thinking: Why do I feel so agitated?
5) Mr Hairdresser (Asks too many mundane questions)
The most common mistake. This guy makes polite conversation by asking her questions: What are you up to today? Where are you from? Doing anything nice later? He’s asking her to do all the work and not displaying any of his personality.
She’s thinking: I feel like I’m being interviewed.
6) Mr Bitch (agreeing with everything, putting her on a pedestal)
This guy supplicates to her. He inflects his voice upwards, nods his head, smiles too much and says “oh cool!” after she speaks. For him, she can do no wrong. She might like him, but she’s turned off by this kiss-arse behaviour and lack of challenging.
She’s thinking: I can walk all over this one!
7) Mr Gay Best Friend (Too much comfort, no male-female polarity)
Girls love this guy. He makes them feel totally comfortable. This guy doesn’t flirt or tease, he just allows them to talk about what they want to talk about. He’s afraid of showing his intent in case he loses her.
She’s thinking: Great! A guy I can be platonic with!
8. Mr Me-Me-Me (does all the work, invests too much, talks a lot)
This guy is doing far too much talking. He doesn’t recogise when the set has hooked and never gets the girls doing the work. He’s forgotten the power of listening and silence.
She’s thinking: Why is he trying so hard?
9) Mr Premature Ejeculator (leaves an interaction early)
This guy is his own worst enemy. He blows himself out by leaving an interaction that was going fine, just to escape the social pressure. Either he can’t believe how well it’s going or he panics and departs.
She’s thinking: Why didn’t he ask for my number?
10) Mr Dodgy Closer (closes too fast or messes up the close)
This guy has forgotten that you have to open strong and close strong. He apologetically asks for her number, mumbles, or gives up at the first sign of difficulty. This guy might also go for the number too fast, before the hook point.
She’s thinking: It started off well, but now I’m not sure..
Take a good hard look at those Top 10 mistakes and try to honestly say which ones you make. Get a friend to film one of your approaches, or record an audio of your conversation. Even better, get on a daygame.com bootcamp and have myself and Jon pinpoint exactly where you’re making mistakes, and how you can correct them. Small changes can make massive differences.
- Tom Torero