An interview Tom did with the marvellous Jordan Harbinger on the Pickup Podcast (Episode #185) from Riga, Latvia. They cover a lot of ground including:
* State Shifting and Approach Anxiety * Crossing the bridge with assumptions * Leading * Neediness as the main attraction killer * His book
Click here to have a listen and leave your thoughts below!
Hey Tom,
Nice interview. I especially like the specific little concepts you toss out like “elephant in the room” and “the Russian minute.” They obviously come from experience and make things easier for your listeners.
On a tangent, sometimes I find it fascinating how pick up concepts are similar to things I have seen in other areas, but can be applied to attracting women.
For example, the “elephant in the room” is similar to a technique used by one of my favorite comedians in dealing with crowds. The comedian, Bill Burr, has said on his podcast, that whenever anything uncomfortable happens during a show, the worst thing you can do is ignore it and keep going.
You identify it, address it, then move on. An example might be a comment from an audience member. You can’t ignore it or it emboldens the crowd and you lose control. Same thing if a couple jokes don’t work. Have to have a line for dealing with that, then move one.
Now here is the funny thing about Bill Burr, and this also relates to something you have said. I think you have talked about how challenges of all sorts are now things you welcome because they give you an opportunity to show your character, and how you deal with things.
Well Burr has stated something similar about his style, how he actively seeks out subjects that will make the audience uncomfortable because it is more of a challenge then to win them back.
Example: Watch this video where he takes the piss out of Steve Jobs, I mean who criticizes Steve Jobs, especially right after he dies? At the 1:53 mark he comments on the unease in the room. Then he wins the audience over.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXoiTlWiNbY
What I was thinking is that isn’t actively seeking out discomfort, when you know you can win someone over, a sort of fractionation? I mean when I watched Burr for the first time, it was a much more emotional experience than with most comedians because at first you are on edge, wondering, should I be laughing at this guy? He seems like the kind of person who might say something messed up. Will he go further with this to a place that is uncomfortable?
But at the last minute he always seems to turn it around and say something funny and at times profound.
Just a thought. I know this might be more of an advanced concept, but it does seem a lot like fractionation if I am understanding it correctly. It is so unpredictable. You aren’t just laughing, but wondering where he is going. Seems like a good quality for intriguing girls.
Thanks again for the video.
Leo