Outer Game

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on May 7, 2012

If you’ve been practicing the Daygame Blueprint structure for direct street approaching, you’ll know that the first part of the model can be the hardest – the Capture Phase. This is made up of:

* The Attention Snap

* PreHistory

* Observational Statement

* Assumption Stacking

Once she’s hooked, then students are usually away and can run with the conversation until it’s time for the  number close.

On this weekend’s bootcamp I noticed that the students all thought that the Capture Phase was set in stone, like there was only one way of doing it. Because of our infield videos, many daygamers think that it’s always the following:

* The Attention Snap = Yad Stop from the front and “Can I tell you something really quickly?”

* PreHistory = “I just saw you walking past and…”

* Observational Statement = “I think you look really nice”

* Assumption Stacking = “What I noticed about you was…”

However, if you look at the Daygame Blueprint closely, you’ll see that we’re not suggesting you use the same Capture Phase each time, for every situation. It’s funny to walk around London and see daygamers copying exactly the same Capture Phase that Yad uses for every single girl.

In reality, the Capture Phase is fluid, and very variable. What you do for the Capture should totally change depending on the specific environment and situation.

You need to start doing Chameleon Capture.

The Capture Phase should match the environment. A Yad-style capture (as described above) is ideal for fast walking girls on a busy shopping street. Even then, you need to make up your own exact “lines” for each bit of the Capture. Try to change it each time you stop a girl. For example, it could become:

* Attention Snap = Yosha stop from side and “Oh my God, stop!”

* Prehistory = “This is going to be really random but…”

* Observational Statement = “I love your style, it’s totally cute”

* Assumption Stacking = “You remind me of….”

With the students on the bootcamp today we hit other areas of central London where the street vibe was different each time – markets, squares, side streets. Often I take students into shops, stores and even museums. For each environment, I need to match my Capture to the energy level of that place. So for a quiet art gallery, it might go something like this:

* Attention Snap = Stand next to girl looking at a painting and whisper “Wow!”

* Prehistory = “I know it’s illegal to have fun in a gallery but…”

* Observational Statement = “You’re distracting me from this art with your look”

* Assumption Stacking = “I’m guessing you’re from….”

Get the idea? Just because you’ve seen a video of Yad stopping a girl on a busy street using one type of Capture doesn’t mean that you have to copy it each time you approach the girl. Match the energy level to the environment and inject some of your own personality into each bit of it by changing the “lines” around each time. Own the words and speak from the heart, adapting your vibe to hers each time like a true chameleon.

- Tom Torero, Executive Instructor

Posted in Articles, Beliefs, Body Language, Confidence, Dating & Relationships, Dating Advice, Getting a Date, Inner Game, Mindset, Outer Game, Self-Esteem, What To Say on February 18, 2012

I gave a talk last night to the London Seduction Society entitled “Fail More!”

In it I emphasised how getting good with women is something that can only be learned in an experiential way (i.e. going out and trying it). By experimenting, making mistakes, correcting them and trying again, you will progress.

Mistakes are simply vital reference points that should be embraced. I see all my interactions as things that could go well, or give me a reference experience (…a funny story at the very least).

Getting the rookie mistakes out the way as quickly as possible is vital. From teaching hundreds of guys on the street during bootcamps and individually, I can recognise these mistakes immediately.

Below are the Top 10 rookie mistakes of a daygamer. I’ve given them amusing names just to make it lighthearted. I have made ALL of these mistakes at some point when I was learning the daygame model, so don’t take them personally. Being able to laugh at them is a key part of getting better.

Top 10 Daygame Mistakes

1) Mr Creepy (Approaching incorrectly)

This guy can’t stop a girl. He touches her from behind, walks with her, tries to grab her, or jumps too close in front of her. The girl doesn’t know what he wants and panics.

She’s thinking: Call the Police!

2) Mr Stalker (Too serious, lack of vibe)

This guy can stop a girl, compliment her and begin a conversation but it’s all way too serious. He forgets to smile, body language is stiff, and there’s no teasing or playfulness to the pick-up.

She’s thinking: Get me out of here!

3) Mr Clown (too gamey, too entertaining, too funny)

This guy has read every Pick-Up book out there. He loves his lines, his routines, his jokes and his peacocking. The girl is laughing so he thinks he’s winning.

She’s thinking: Is this guy a children’s entertainer?

4) Mr Speedy Gonzalez (Talks too quickly, gives off nervous energy)

Everything’s100milesanhour! This guy doesn’t believe that people will listen to what he’s got to say, so he says it quickly. His nervous energy is often then matched by the girl, and the interaction spins out of control.

She’s thinking: Why do I feel so agitated?

5) Mr Hairdresser (Asks too many mundane questions)

The most common mistake. This guy makes polite conversation by asking her questions: What are you up to today? Where are you from? Doing anything nice later? He’s asking her to do all the work and not displaying any of his personality.

She’s thinking: I feel like I’m being interviewed.

6) Mr Bitch (agreeing with everything, putting her on a pedestal)

This guy supplicates to her. He inflects his voice upwards, nods his head, smiles too much and says “oh cool!” after she speaks. For him, she can do no wrong. She might like him, but she’s turned off by this kiss-arse behaviour and lack of challenging.

She’s thinking: I can walk all over this one!

7) Mr Gay Best Friend (Too much comfort, no male-female polarity)

Girls love this guy. He makes them feel totally comfortable. This guy doesn’t flirt or tease, he just allows them to talk about what they want to talk about. He’s afraid of showing his intent in case he loses her.

She’s thinking: Great! A guy I can be platonic with!

8. Mr Me-Me-Me (does all the work, invests too much, talks a lot)

This guy is doing far too much talking. He doesn’t recogise when the set has hooked and never gets the girls doing the work. He’s forgotten the power of listening and silence.

She’s thinking: Why is he trying so hard?

9) Mr Premature Ejeculator (leaves an interaction early)

This guy is his own worst enemy. He blows himself out by leaving an interaction that was going fine, just to escape the social pressure. Either he can’t believe how well it’s going or he panics and departs.

She’s thinking: Why didn’t he ask for my number?

10) Mr Dodgy Closer (closes too fast or messes up the close)

This guy has forgotten that you have to open strong and close strong. He apologetically asks for her number, mumbles, or gives up at the first sign of difficulty. This guy might also go for the number too fast, before the hook point.

She’s thinking: It started off well, but now I’m not sure..

_______________________________

Take a good hard look at those Top 10 mistakes and try to honestly say which ones you make. Get a friend to film one of your approaches, or record an audio of your conversation. Even better, get on a daygame.com bootcamp and have myself and Jon pinpoint exactly where you’re making mistakes, and how you can correct them. Small changes can make massive differences.

- Tom Torero

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on August 5, 2011

It’s been said a thousand times before, but holding eye contact oozes confidence and value. It has taken me a year of direct street game, however, to appreciate just how important our eyes are when interacting with women. In this article I’ll spill the beans on what I’ve discovered through infield experience, from the street to the bedroom.

Over time I’ve realised that less is more when it comes to daygame. Dropping canned material, speaking much less and slower, removing the humour, leaving pauses and letting the sexual tension bubble stay afloat through not verbalising what’s happening.

It was 60 Years of Challenge and Yad that showed me the importance of letting the natural chemistry between a man and a woman do the work for you – the “game” elements are often the things that pop the bubble. But how can you stay out of the nice guy / friend box if you’re not hitting on her, you ask? The biggest tool we have is our eyes.

A secret code exists between men and women, that has to be learnt through spending 100s of hours in their presence. Speaking and listening by using your eyes alone is the building blocks to this code.

10% of communication comes from what we say, 30% through the tone of our voice and 60% through our body. Evolutionary speaking, the eyes are intended for so much more than simple viewing of the world. In terms of daygame, here’s how they can be your biggest secret weapon:

• As you walk down the street, look into hot girls’ eyes to see if you can get a glance back. I’m not talking about a hard, invasive stare, but a cheeky, sparkly look like you’re going to tell them a fun secret. If a girl looks at me, it’s the perfect “reason” to go and approach her directly. As Mark Mowgli says, it takes the “cold” out of “cold approach.”

• When you deliver your pre-opener in the capture phase, do NOT break eye contact. Watch a video of Yad infield to see what I mean. Scientists say that 4-5 seconds is enough to show a dominant, value-giving character.
  She will most likely look away first, which is to be expected. Note, in Asian cultures, it is normal for women to lower their eyes out of politeness…don’t let it throw you!
• When you’re into the rapport stage, when you’ve got her to start investing by opening up and talking, look deeply (but softly) into her eyes for another 5 seconds. Often you will see her pupils dilate which is a sure sign of attraction.
• On an instant date or follow up date, play a little game where you suggest she’s too smiley and can’t be serious for 10 seconds. Hold her hands and tell her to look you in the eyes as you count up to ten. Even if she gets half way, sexual tension has been created (credit Krauser).
• Listen to her with your eyes. Replace in-built responses like “oh cool” or “I see” with fixed soft but inquisitive eyes, almost like you’re not buying what she says. Often the girl will start to qualify even more.
• Explain the power of the eyes to her. Talk about them as windows to the soul, show her the dilation effect, get close. As the saying goes, a mutual gaze narrows the gap between humans.
• Instead of worrying about the kiss close, look at her as she’s speaking and imagine kissing her, or what you’d like to do to her. She will pick up on this and the opportunity to kiss her will often come naturally.

Go out. Try it. Replace some of your daygame conversations with eye gazing and silence. Let the sexual tension grow…

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on February 25, 2011

So you’ve committed to going out and hitting the streets. You’ve mastered the art of stopping moving girls (even the storm-trooper ones!) and making them feel comfortable to stop and vibe with you for a few minutes. They’re crossing their legs, playing with their hair and contributing more and more to the conversation by asking you questions and opening up about themselves. You feel it’s hooked, you feel she’s investing, and you’re already thinking about how to set up a date with her and seal the deal. You take out your phone and tell her it would be good to swap numbers…

Hang on gentlemen…..slow down….rewind….stop for a second. What is the purpose of this whole daygame adventure? To collect phone numbers and feel temporarily elated, only to have them flake when you follow them up? No – you’re hitting the streets to meet beautiful girls and begin an adventure with them. The phone number is just a bridge to the next interaction because you cut the first one short. It’s a common mindset when you’re learning daygame to tell yourself that girls in the day are super busy, have water-tight plans, places to go and people to see. I still find myself number closing and ending sets because I think she needs to get somewhere or because I’m just so excited by how well the interaction went and I don’t want to ruin it.

But you’ve popped the bubble. You’ve brought the mini-adventure to a close in the hope that you can rekindle the magic and reconstruct the bubble another time when you meet for drinks and try to escalate things. Like a lot of things in daygame, the real truth is counter-intuitive. From much in-field experience I’ve seen that by not bursting that adventure bubble, and carrying it on in another location, you’re massively increasing your chances of getting that girl to sleep with you. I’m not saying that short, 2-3 minute number closes don’t ever lead to lays (shorter ones are actually good too, as it leaves her with that enigmatic Hollywood moment), but I’m suggesting that if you’re getting lots of dead ends from phone numbers, you need to keep the bubble going.

The bubble starts when she hooks and the vibing flows. You can be on the busiest shopping street, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of shoppers, yet talking to each other like you would with someone on a long train journey. That’s the bubble, where the outside world blurs and you’re living in the moment. She feels the thrill just like you, as she’s read about this moment and seen it in films, but probably never experienced it on the street. Perhaps you move her slightly to the other side of the pavement as a mini-bounce, which enhances the “our world” bubble effect.

To carry on the bubble adventure and massively eliminate flakes, it’s time to ask her for a quick coffee. Taking a stranger off the street into a nearby café is still an exciting feeling for me, and the girl will feel it tenfold. It’s another level of adventure from just been stopped…she’s now complying to a “spontaneous” idea. Girls love that idea of serendipity, luck, fate or destiny. It’s what Romantic Comedies are all about.

After 5-10 minutes of solid street vibing, when you feel she’s comfortable, say to her something along the lines of: “Look, I’m just going to grab a quick coffee before meeting my friends, how about that, it will only take 10 minutes?” I start walking in the direction of the nearest coffee shop and 9 times out of 10 she’ll agree and follow. Immediately the bubble intensifies and the adventure shifts up a gear. You’re no longer strangers, but two people getting to know each other that trust each other and have a plan.

Find the nearest coffee shop (or pub if it’s later) and confidently order your drink. It’s a good chance to show her your leading mentality. Maybe vibe happily with the café staff, make them smile, gently tease the girl about ordering anything but champagne. Don’t be afraid to buy the coffee for her too – this is not a nightclub and this has never happened to her before. Confidently find two quiet seats (next to each other on a sofa is ideal) and sit down.I always check the time, and remind her that I can’t stay long and am waiting for my friends to call. It reassures her even more that she’s not trapped or going to be bored by chumpy conversation.

So, the important bit….what do you talk about? The Golden Rule is that you talk about HER. I would say 80% comfort building about her, and 20% about you or escalation. You don’t want to know the superficial “hairdresser chat” stuff, you want it all to be about feelings and emotions:

• • •

What does she love most about London? How was it growing up in her country and moving away? What’s her passion / focus / dream, and why?

It’s not an interview, so as usual in daygame, you’ve got to make statements about her and yourself in between the questions. Maybe do some mini cold-reading about her, like guessing she’s well travelled because she seems so open-minded and spontaneous, or that she seems very down-to-earth and creative. Relate what she says to yourself, but don’t brag or go on for too long about your own life. I occasionally spike the conversation up with teases or flirty banter (e.g. that we should go to Vegas and get married and divorced, or that we’d never get along because she likes cats) but keep reminding yourself that you’re not the performing monkey or night-game entertainer. I make sure that I don’t just blindly agree with everything she says, but find a point to challenge her on (e.g. if she suggests London is unfriendly, or that she doesn’t like classical music) and bring her round to my way of thinking. That breaking of rapport shows her that you’re not just an average guy pandering to her every suggestion, but that you’re a real man who thinks for himself and doesn’t always compromise his mindset.

After 20-30 minutes I cut it short and say I’ve got to go, after exchanging numbers of course and planning when we’re going to meet next. After an instant date the connection is so solid and the bubble is so strong, that it would be weird for her NOT to swap numbers and see you again. Even better, if your logistics are right and you’ve had some experience with daygame, you might want to continue the adventure there and then and go for a bounce-back to yours, but that’s a different skill for another time. But never continue the interaction out of neediness, and because you just want to “hang out” for longer with her to do what she’s doing at that moment. Either you cut it short after the coffee and set up something for another time when you can escalate, or go for it there and then and take her back to yours for a full close. Anything else is needy.

The instant date – an adventure bubble that solidifies your daygame and stops those numbers flaking.

Always suggest it in sets after those 5-10 minutes, as even if she says no it will make the number close much more plausible (“well, we’ll delay that coffee for another time, let’s swap numbers and do it when we’re not busy”). Go forth and try it….you’ll be surprised at how it takes your daygame to another level and intensifies that adventurous feeling. Let me know how it goes (over a coffee, if you’ve got 10 minutes!).

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on November 27, 2010

Whenever you walk down the street, whether to get your weekly shopping, go for a coffee or even going to and from work, there are a ton of ridiculously attractive women just waiting to be spoken to… by you.

Now we all know that attracting women takes a certain amount of skill, I’m not talking about getting their phone number and walking off. I’m talking about opening them, building a deep level of rapport, sparking attraction and meeting up with them at a later date – providing you haven’t already taken her on an instant date that is.

The Things That Attract Women Instantly

Which is why today I want to focus on things that attract women immediately, basic attributes that you can learn and use which give off a sense of self assurance, confidence and charisma… the good stuff that makes women want to know more about you.

Standing Tall

Sounds a little silly and obvious right? Especially if you’re 5ft tall. But what I mean by this is standing with your shoulders back, head held high and back straight. In theory these three little things don’t sound like much at all, but I’m telling you by standing tall you will resonate confidence and start feeling a lot more sure of yourself.

Once I started doing this, I noticed myself not shying away from eye contact a lot more, strange right? But for some reason it works, it’s like you feel as though you can take on anyone. Don’t let this one slip, give it a go and remind yourself when you start to slouch.

Smiling

Goodness me, I cannot tell you how incredibly attractive smiling is to a woman, let me ask you something. Have you ever been in a conversation with a woman and you noticed how beautiful her smile was? Like she was giving off this vibe? That’s how powerful smiling is and if you haven’t then you need to make yourself more aware of this.

The next time you’re walking towards a gorgeous woman, just do one thing… smile. Try and smile in a non creepy way, it needs to be in a cheeky kind of way that shows you are again confident but also willing to open conversation.

At first this will be hard, particularly in London, it took me a good few attempts before I could carry it off, but once you do it a few times you’ll start to get great responses from women, some will even open you – so make sure this is something you test at least ten times.

Eye Contact

If you take just one thing away from this article and use, please make it eye contact. I cannot stress enough how important strong, dominant and sexy eye contact is. You might be thinking, how the hell can I convey all those qualities just through my eyes?

Simple, when you’re looking into a woman’s eyes just say to yourself “how would a confident, strong minded and sexual guy be looking at this really attractive girl right now, to show that he’s not scared in the slightest?”. You should naturally start to get it and what I mean by that is… “the look”. Women will react differently in conversion and each word will feel more intense, sexual tension is built from this.

At a first glance though, you need to hold eye contact, make sure that when you lock each others gaze… you NEVER look away first. Spice things up to, when you’re looking over, throw in a little smile or a raised eyebrow, these will get a response from her without a doubt.

So there you have it the three most important things to attract women that I use on a daily basis once I set foot outside the front door. Although these are the basics, they REALLY do work – so try them, master them and play around with them. You should learn how to attract women using body language too, as this will put you in good stead when you’re in the conversation.

Listen, How Serious Are You About Attracting Girls Without Saying a Word?

If you’re anything like me then you should be devouring everything piece of knowledge that you can get your eager little mits on. If you are, then I would strongly advise you sign up to the newsletter below to get you started understanding what your sticking points are and what’s holding you back right now.

Also, let me know what other basic things you can do to attract beautiful women without uttering a word below in the comments.

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on July 30, 2010

One thing that is strikingly consistent with guys who are new to approaching girls in the street is their “performer” vibe (for lack of a better word). When I recall my earlier days, I cringe slightly at memories of my old behaviour in chatting up girls. I remember smiling with wide eyed fascination at the girl, feet planted and shoulders back, not budging an inch whilst still gesturing smoothly with my hands. Careful not to slouch! Do not break eye contact! Stand to attention, soldier! What image does this description conjure up? For me, it’s either that of a salesman delivering a routine sales pitch, or a pick-up-artist who is too wrapped up in presenting a clean cut image to the girl.

See, being a performer is not how to get a girl to like you. It aint rock’n’roll. Nor seductive.

Let’s think of other types of performers:

Doesn’t look too favourable, eh? All of these people perform in order to “get” something (usually money), and as a Daygamer you’re not out to “get” anything. You’re out to give… the gift of yourself!

If you’re native to London and have spent a decent amount of time in or around the West End, how many times have been minding your own business only to spot a “pick-up-artist” in action?

The guy sticks out like a sore thumb. He is facing the girl, a comfortable distance between them, his hands are out, shoulders back, head nodding, and he is holding a nervous smile. He is clearly trying to impress the girl (see my article “Expression Not Impression” for reasons why this is bad).

Having this strict posture seems not only mechanical, but false. Don’t get me wrong – for beginners this might seem difficult to avoid, but ultimately, in order to get a girl to like you, you’re approach needs to have a certain natural expressiveness. No girl wants to feel like you’re executing a pre-conceived game-plan (even though, undoubtedly and unapologetically, that is what we’re doing when we first practice this stuff!)

Another aspect of the performer vibe is in the conversation.

Performers speak too fast, frantically trying to keep their target’s attention.

They fill any gaps in conversation with useless and empty words in order to avoid potentially awkward silence. They don’t properly listen to their target. And most damning of all, they rush to getting the number too quickly. When you’re thinking of an ulterior motive such as getting the number, the girl can sense that you’re not fully investing in the conversation. It is in your sub-communications. It feels to her like you’re just ticking boxes. It’s the same feeling you get when a charity person is asking you trivial questions about your day, when you know all they want is for you to sign up. It can be quite unsettling.

The moment a girl senses that you’re performing, her alarm bells will ring.

From that point on you will be framed as try-hard and she might eye you with cynicism.

Having a performer vibe is one of the most common and problematic “sticking points” I witness in students. For a while I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it, and admittedly it is quite hard to explain hence why I’ll try to get a video up shortly demonstrating the points I’ve made here.

Here are some practical tips of how to get a girl to like you, by remedying the Performer Effect:

• Slow down your speech. Don’t be afraid to pause so that you can reflect a little on what she’s just said. That way, what you’ll say next will carry more weight.

• Touch. Lead her physically. If the street is busy, suggest you move out of the way and take her gently by the arm to the side of the pavement. Performers don’t do this because they are lower status. Touch her on the arm to emphasise a point, or even give her a hug when you connect on something.

• Don’t seem over-eager. This usually amounts to not smiling so much and not nodding at everything she says. There’s a definite line between smiling out of pure happiness and smiling out of nervousness (ie. you’re afraid to just “chill”).

• Relax your body language. Just be more free-flowing with your movement. Turn away from her slightly, stand shoulder to shoulder as you notice something together, walk away to put something in the bin etc. These are just examples but serve to show that the interaction should not unfold like a lecture, with a regimented performer delivering his speech at the podium.

• Don’t force connection. Sales people do this and it’s annoying. Eg. “You’re from Liverpool? My grandfather’s from there!”. “You like Japanese films? I love Japanese films!” etc. Our own Yad even goes as far as to purposefully question and probe the girl’s opinion, her likes and dislikes, in order to demonstrate his intellect. Which leads me to…

• Don’t automatically agree! I see this SO often and it gives away so much power right off the bat. Typical examples include saying “Amazing!” or “Oh that’s awesome” in response to anything remotely interesting she says. She could well say “I love killing puppies” and “Awesome!” is already coming out of his mouth. Do not be afraid to disagree! I’d ever go as far to say actively seek contention in opinions that she offers. Crucially, you must keep a positive and upbeat tone however. Temper any criticism with empathy.

• Use “normalisers”. A good friend once coined that term, and it means carrying anything which makes you seem more “normal” or, I’d like to add, “spontaneous”. Items such as a water bottle, carrying bags, books; anything which makes it seem like you’re going about your business and just so happen to have noticed her.

• Have fun! Approaching girls isn’t a drill. The more fun you have, the more fun she’ll have.

Remember that just so long as you feel comfortable, she’ll feel comfortable.

Having an awkward performer vibe about you happens exactly when you try to act comfortable when you’re clearly not (If you’re a bit nervous, then show it! Think Hugh Grant). It’s a habit you want to eradicate early, else it might stay with you even when you’ve become a seasoned Daygamer. Just relax, and focus on enjoying yourself rather than impressing the girl!

- Mark

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on July 13, 2010

Something that has recently dawned upon me is that a lot of guys think that the end goal of an interaction should be to get a girls phone number. Any guy who’s made a habit of going out and approaching girls, and done it for long enough, is sure to know that getting a girls digits is no guarantee of anything. It doesn’t even guarantee that you will ever speak to her again, let alone go on a date with her.

This can be surprising (and confusing) at first when you are not use to it, but trust me, it happens to nearly everyone when they start to get more and more successful with the approach. Needless to say, I have had my fair share of flakes.

So for my next few articles, I’ve decided to focus on getting solid numbers, following-up and arranging first dates. But first things first, how do we go about getting a girls phone number?

You’d be amazed at how quickly and easily some guys can get a girls phone number.

Adam Lyons once pointed out to me that you could quite easily walk up to any girl and get her number within seconds.

- How you ask!?

Here’s the magic line, “Hey excuse me I’ve been having some problems with the reception on my phone, and I’m waiting for a really important phone call. Could you do me a massive favour, and ring my phone, just so I know that I’ve got reception” – you give her your number, she calls your phone, and POW (as Sasha would say) you’ve got her number.

- Magic Line!?

Feel free to go out and get as many numbers as you want using that line. I’m sure your “number-close-rate” would be astonishing. But good luck getting any of those girls to ever meet up with you again.

Adam told me this trick to show me that numbers count for absolutely nothing. If you are one of those guys who judges their success solely on the sheer volume of numbers that you can get, then you will soon learn the grim reality that is that a girl will willingly hand over her phone number, and never respond to a single one of your texts or calls.

There are many reasons as to why a girl would do this. They may consider it to be the most gentle way of letting you down. They may initially believe that they will meet up with you, only to later think about it too much, and for what ever reason decide it’s not such a good idea.

The key to converting numbers to dates lies in the initial interaction.

You should only ever willingly end an interaction when you’re certain that the girl will want to reply to your texts, pick up the phone when you’re calling or meet up with you.

Some guys in the community put far too much emphasis on text game, saying that you when you text a girl, you need to create an intense intrigue. Girls are curious creatures, and any time they are left in the dark about something, they will do almost anything they can to find out more. But the fact that guys are having to put in all this effort over the phone, simply shows that their initial interactions weren’t strong enough.

If you can lay the right foundations within the initial interaction, there really is no need for amazing follow-up game. In an ideal scenario, all that follow-up game should be used for is sorting out logistics. Think about it, 200 years ago guys were able to pick-up chicks without phones, so why can’t we do it today? Back in the day, they’d set a time and a place, and the girl would be there. Obviously in this day and age, I would always get a girls phone number, but the point I’m trying to make is that unless you are exceptionally bad on the phone, or sending some very inappropriate texts, the root of your problem is likely to be that you’re not connecting with the girl in the interaction.

Having a deep connection with a girl is vital, as it will set you apart from everyone else she interacts with. Hot girls have an overwhelming amount of guys approaching them every single day; and whilst you might be the first to do so in the daytime, if you’re failing to connect with her, you are no different to the hundreds of random dudes she met last night in a club.

Connection is a topic which we discuss in depth with Gambler, where he tells of how to gain an insight into girls character traits, emotions and motivations in order to form a bond with her, rather than just relating things to your own experience, which is what 99% of people do!

I seriously recommend that anyone who is failing to convert numbers to dates, listens to this podcast again, and really take on board what Gambler is talking about, as it is the key to getting solid numbers.

Another way to immediately establish comfort and develop a connection with a girl is to go on an instant date. Even if you’ve just gone to grab a coffee together, a girl will perceive you as much more credible, than if you were to just take her digits on the street.

If you’re unable to go for an instant date, then its important to arrange something for you to do together in the initial interaction. Doing this makes going for the number much smoother, as it provides justification for getting it; it also means you don’t have to do so much work over the phone, as well as making the close much more solid as you’ve got something specific that you’re doing together. Mark wrote a fantastic article about future projection; painting a picture of the date by placing emphasis on the scenario rather than the girl. This makes it seem far more romantic, and she will be left thinking of you, and what you’re going to do together.

Knowing how to get a girls phone number is all well and good, but don’t rest on your laurels; do as much as you can to cement the close. As well as getting her number, give her yours, add her on facebook. That way, whenever she scrolls through her phonebook, or goes on her computer she’ll be reminded of you.

When guys are starting out, as soon as they get a girls number, they think ‘mission accomplished’ and eject immediately, running off into the distance and over the horizon with their phone clutched in their hands as if it were a trophy. Unless you’re in some mad, crazy rush, your best best is to stay chatting to the girl for a few minutes after you’ve got her number. If you leave as soon as you get it, it seems as though that was all you were aiming to do.

I want to talk briefly about getting resistance when going for the number. I’m sure this causes a lot of guys to eject, when they could have easily gotten the number (if only they knew!) There are a few different reasons why a girl will be reluctant to give out her number:

Firstly, some girls just like to challenge guys. They don’t want to feel like a slut who would give out their number to just anyone, so they feel that anyone who gets their number, should have had to work for it a little. In this case, when you go for the number, girls will seem contemplative as to whether or not its such a good idea to give it to you. All that you have to do is show a little persistence by down playing the number as you go for it.

If you’ve had a great interaction with a girl, and she’s still not willing to give you her number, remember – she’s not willing to give it you yet.

In our podcast with Tom, we talk about how emotions are just fleeting states of mind, so one minute a girl might not give you her number, then a minute later she will. My advice here would be to divert the conversation away from exchanging numbers, and instead work something into the conversation that you can do together, then as you both agree on the date, ask, “so what’s the best way of staying in touch?”

Perseverance is what is going to get you through this type of resistance. However you don’t want to be seen as hostile towards anything else a girl has to offer. Admittedly, getting anything less than a number is not ideal, but if you ask a girl for her number, and she offers you her facebook/email, you have to initially accept it, and then progress towards the phone number. Guys that reject a girls offer of facebook/email will often alienate her, as they are seen as punishing her for her compliance. So take anything you’re offered, and move forward, down-playing the number/date.

If a girl offers to take your number, instead of giving you hers, it’s unlikely that she will ever get back to you. Again, reinforce her compliance by taking her phone and entering your number; then with her phone in your hand, call your own phone, so that you have her number too. This is very cheeky, and again demonstrates your playful persistence.

The final hurdle that guys face in regards to how to get a girls phone number, and something that I often get asked about, is what to do when a girl mentions a boyfriend. To a lot of guys, any mention of a boyfriend whatsoever is a conversational-dead end, and results in them giving up there and then. Believe it or not, even with my superpowers of daygame, I’m a moral man, and I don’t condone pursuing a girl that’s in a relationship. However something that I have learned is that this is often just another way in which girls test guys.

But fear not, moralistic daygamer, there is a more noble way of bypassing the boyfriend card. This is something which I have to give credit to Paul Janka for, and he calls it a ‘month indicator’:

“This is London/(insert relevant city), things happen, things change.. I’ll tell you what, I’ll take your number down, but I’m only going to send you one text… in 3-months time. If somehow you’re single, maybe we’ll hang out. If not, I’ll be happy for you, and we’ve lost nothing.” – If you do something like this, do not text them within the time period which you agreed upon. Put a reminder on your phone, or a note on your calendar, and stick to your word. Once you know how to get a girls phone number, properly, you’re free to advance to the realms of the first date.

Hope this helps,

Andy

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on June 29, 2010

Ok, this is a super secret, new pickup technique that I have recently invented, so that you know how to get a girl to like you before you approach; I call it smiling.

- Anti-climax or what, you’re probably thinking!

Okay but here’s the big secret:

**You need to smile when approaching a beautiful girl in the daytime!**

– Now that’s two let-downs and we’re barely into the article! Come on Andy; we’ll remember to smile in future, why have you dedicated an entire article to smiling, with such an alluring title?

You say that now, but I just know that I’m gonna see another miserable, sulking gloomy guy approaching the girl of his dreams in Leicester Square tomorrow!

The problem with smiling is that it is so simple that we all forget to do it sometimes. Guys who’ve read a load of pickup material no longer appreciate the potency of a great smile. But it’s by far the easiest way to demonstrate that you’re a fun, cool, confident guy.

Also, as we’ve discussed in the article on body language, your psychology follows your physiology; meaning that if you smile a lot, you will actually put yourself in a better mood than if you look miserable all day.

If guys starting out are having a hard time, and not really getting anywhere, it’s understandable that they would think that they need to do something extravagant when approaching, or to have this magic line to deliver when attracting women. But in reality its the little things like smiling that really matter.

If you’re new to this, I promise you that if you really focus on the basics; body language, voice tone, fashion, facial expressions , et cetera, you are going to have the epiphany that we all have when we get good at this, “Is it really that simple!?”

In regards to smiling, what are guys doing wrong?

There are two wrong roads that guys can go down. Firstly, some guys will happily approach a girl that absolutely knocks their socks off… however they refuse to do so without this doom-laden expression cast upon their face.

In this case you have to ask yourself, ‘Why would a beautiful girl want to stop and talk to someone who looks so miserable?’ I certainly wouldn’t.

So in order to engage a girl when you approach, you need to sell how you feel about her with your face. When you are approaching a woman, have a smile already dancing across your face before she sees you. This is not acting. It is simply projecting your true feelings with your expressiveness. Yad did a video about hot girls being more receptive to a direct approach, aside from the factors he mentions in the video, another contributing factor towards this, is the fact that your approach is so much more genuine, and how much you want the girl is conveyed that much more. So something that I urge you to practice is to be more expressive with your true feelings, so that a girl is really gripped by your approach.

The opposing problem that guys have, is that they must have read somewhere that smiling is great, so they decide to go out and approach every girl they see with a demented smile that screams “Look how happy I am!!”

It doesn’t take much to explain why this doesn’t work. All I’ll say is that if you keep doing it, you risk decades of celibacy. Your smile needs to be congruent with how you’re feeling, or as The Killers say, “Smile Like You Mean It”

You don’t need a cartoon grin, but as a general rule I like to say: “The faster the girl is moving, the bigger the smile you need”. So if she’s sprinting at full speed, you need to be laughing hysterically!

Also once you’ve transitioned away from the opener, there is no need to continue looking like Mr.Happy for the entire interaction. Chill out, relax, and have a pleasant conversation. Yad did another great video in which he explained how the first 10 seconds of the approach should differ from the rest of the conversation.

That’s all well and good, but how to get a girl to like you before you approach?

There is one last tip I in regards to smiling that I must bestow to all Daygamers. If you manage to do this one simple thing, it will radically change all the results you have doing Daygame.

Before ever learning game, if ever I caught eyes with an attractive girl in the street, my smile would go from 0 to 100 in a matter of milliseconds. Think about it, you only have about 0.1 seconds to have an impact on someone before their glance passes you by, so most guys choose to adopt the full-tilt smile approach. The problem with this is that it looks weird, and leaves a girl thinking, ‘Why did that guy suddenly start smiling weirdly at me?’ This type of smile is seeking rapport with a girl. In other words, it says ‘Hey, I’m nice guy, won’t you approve of me so that I can come and talk to you?” If you’re walking around with a ‘default face’ of gloom and misery, then this is pretty much the only option that you leave yourself in order to force a response, if you catch her eye. Her initial impression of you, will then be one of a weird guy, and if you decide to approach her from here, this impression is just going to perpetuate throughout the interaction.

Instead, it is much better to always have a half smile on your face. The way to make use of your beautiful, charming smile is to have it already on your lips and twinkling in your eyes before making eye contact. That way you are seen as the happy, confident person you are.

Then as you walk past a girl you will already have had a little moment with her. This warms up the relationship, and makes a great first impression, so that when you run back around to approach her, she is almost guaranteed to stop as you’ve already had this little moment with her.

This sounds very simple, and it is. But the effect of having a ‘moment’ before you approach is astounding.

So go out there, attracting women with your smile

Andy

P.s. If you enjoyed this article, “How To Get A Girl To Like You Before You Approach” make sure you check out our other articles about sub-communicating high-value:

How To Attract Women With Body Language
Fashion Tips For Men
The Importance Of Making Eye Contact To Attract Women
How To Talk To Girls

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on June 25, 2010

You can apply the tips in this article throughout every aspect of your life, but I want to make this relevant to how to talk to girls.

I don’t know why, but this was one of the biggest sticking points that I had to deal with when I got into game. During a one-on-one I had with Adam Lyons many years ago, the first thing that he told me was that I needed to slow down how fast I talked, and it’s been something that I’ve been working on ever since.

The biggest shift in my success, came when I realised that when you approach a girl, YOU SHOULD BE IN NO RUSH TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. Blurting out your opener is definitely not the way to attract women. But if you know how to talk to girls, you stay composed, and deliver your opener in the correct way, you’ll be amazed at how much the entire interaction changes. Firstly the girl will respond a lot better to it, and secondly you’ll actually feel a lot calmer and more confident by doing it.

So when you open, just start talking SLOWLY.

If the girl begins to walk off, do not speed up what you are saying in the hope that you are going to convince her to stop. Remember that your VALUE dictates whether or not girls will want to stop and talk to you; rather than what you’re actually saying. So if a girl does start to walk off as you’re opening, CARRY ON talking at exactly the same pace as before.

Why is talking quickly such a bad thing?

Talking too fast communicates that you are the kind of person that expects people to ignore you. So never rush what you need to say!

Instead you can inject pauses between words, which will build anticipation and intrigue, so that you keep a girl interested in what you’re saying. If you watch interviews with high value people, notice how in their response to a question, they usually pause for a moment or two, with a contemplative expression on their face, resulting in a much more powerful response.

If there’s a pause in the conversation, practice NOT filling it, and EXPECTING her to. You’ll be amazed at how girls will put in the work, as long as you looked relaxed, as if you expect her to.

In regards to voice tone, when you talk, you want to make a habit of keeping your voice tone down to your chest area. This is very important as it communicates extremely high value and will attract women. Rather than saying “I like you – is that ok?”, and SEEKING HER APPROVAL, you’re sub-communicating “I like you, and I don’t give a fuck what you think of that.”

So for the next few approaches you do, really focus on communicating high value in the way you talk.

Andy

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on June 23, 2010

I could probably write an entire book about making eye contact, but for now I’ve condensed the topic to just this one article, in order for you to attract women!

Making eye contact is a big issue for a lot of guys learning pickup. Starting out, most guys can only hold poor eye contact for a few seconds, whilst others struggle even to hold eye contact at all.

Good eye contact is extremely important in almost any type of interaction, but it is absolutely essential when doing direct Daygame, and trying to attract women. If you’ve only just started going out and approaching, now is the perfect time to stop worrying about whether or not to approach, and to just go and do it, so that you can work on the basics of your approach; one of which is the ability to hold direct eye contact with a girl.

When you’re approaching a girl, everything that you are non-verbally projecting about yourself needs to be congruent with the manner of the approach. When going direct, making eye contact is fundamental to getting a girl to stop, and throughout the interaction it can be the key to initiating any level of escalation.

Different stages of an interaction call for different intensities of eye-contact. You’ve all heard the term laser eyes right? Well, when you approach a girl directly, you need to have direct eye contact with her, before you deliver your opener. When you’ve successfully stopped her, there’s no need for an overwhelming stare; you should just hold soft yet focused eye contact, as if you’re so captivated by her that you’re oblivious to the world around you.

Yad did a great video on eye contact and body language, specifically for when girls are talking to you, as he speaks about how to show sincere appreciation and understanding for what someone is saying.

I also want to talk a little bit about making eye contact on dates, and when escalating with girls, as rather than trying to verbally move things forward, I find its always better to do it non-verbally.

For example, just before you go to kiss a girl for the first time, you will naturally find yourself looking deep into a her eyes, staring from her left eye to her right eye, and then down to her lips. This cycle continues and builds up the sexual tension. As you are both gazing into each others eyes, it will get her heart pounding as her body prepares for that first kiss.

We’ve all seen it in the movies where all the guy has to do is just look at the girl and they know it’s on. Be careful though as there is a fine line between seductive and creepy, so practise your eye contact with yourself in a mirror. Before you know it you’ll find that look you’ve been searching for

Hope this helps,

Andy

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on June 17, 2010

For the next week or so, I’m going to be writing articles specifically geared towards conveying value, non-verbally. Todays topic is how to attract women with body language.

When guys get into the seduction community, they have an abundance of content to choose from. A lot of guys get lured in by overly complicated articles about “alpha male body language”, or they even feel the need to delve into 300-page body language books. Because of this I decided to write a pretty short and simple article to straighten out your body language, so that you don’t get overwhelmed by all the unnecessary content out there.

It’s only from doing thousands of approaches that I’ve been able to truly appreciate the power of confident body language. You’ve probably heard it hundreds of times before, but what you say really doesn’t matter that much, as long as you know how to carry yourself. But whilst knowing this, many guys still don’t know what good body language is. Therefore I consider it my duty to inform all Daygamers of the most effective male body language tips that I have discovered, for approaching lovely young women in the daytime.

The mark of a confident man is someone who always looks comfortable. From reading too deeply into various body language books you will inevitably end up over-thinking things, and trying to do too much. Guys that do this always end up looking rigid, uncomfortable and robotic. Instead your demeanour should be carefree and easy, as if you don’t want or need anything. I suggest reading Mark’s article about “The Daygame Mindset” which explains how to be carefree when you approach, rather than having an agenda, as your mindset will seep through into your body language. The key to learning how to attract women with body language is to first have the correct mindset, as this will be naturally sub-communicated.

As a general rule for body language; stand strong, with your feet rooted to the ground. Move only when you need to, and react with delay. Any movement should be as an extended expressional gesture, that is slow, bold and purposeful. Make a point to use your hands to gesture when expressing yourself, but remember that sometimes less is more, and you don’t actually have to do that much to captivate people.

So that you can gauge where you’re currently at in regards to body language, its a good idea to get some video footage of yourself, so that you can see your own body language, and compare it with people like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise who are in control of theirs. In fact the best way to improve your body language is to pick someone you admire, and model the way they move. I have modelled various high value people in order to to develop my own body language in the past, and I experienced great success from doing so. Those who you choose to model don’t necessarily have to be famous; just choose people who you think are captivating, and have great body language. Look at the way they gesture, the way they stand and the way they talk to people. Seriously DO THIS – It’s far more beneficial to model someone than it is to read books about it.

We all know that your physiology follows your psychology. When someone is depressed, you can tell by the way they are walking and moving. If someone is joyful and happy, they have a ‘spring in their step’. But I am a firm believer that this works both ways, and that your psychology can follow your physiology. If you move in ‘the way a confident person would move’, you will actually start to feel more confident. If you slouch and act like a nervous, shy person, you will start to feel more timid. So instead of reading a 300-page book on how to attract women with body language, start changing the way you carry yourself by modelling other high-value people. It’s cheaper, more effective and less reading!

Hope this helps,

Andy

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on June 9, 2010

I hear so many people tell me “I’ve tried the direct approach before, but the girls just told me straight away that they had a boyfriend”.

When I first started doing direct game, I got exactly the same response. The only difference is that I didn’t give up. I hated using opinion openers and going to clubs, but somehow I knew that the best way to approach a girl in the daytime was to go direct, so I made a firm decision that DIRECT STREET GAME was what I wanted to do. So I put on my seatbelt, and rode it out till the bitter end.

If you haven’t quite clicked with approaching yet, forget about any negative experiences you’ve had because you were just doing it wrong.

When guys approach a girl indirectly on the street (asking for directions, or a female opinion), they are HIDING their true intentions due to their fear of the girls response. However due to all that you are sub-communicating, girls will instinctively be aware of your agenda when you approach. Because girls secretly know why guys approach them, any guy who chooses to go indirect is seen as weak, because they are afraid of truly expressing themselves. On top of this, they are seen as manipulative, as they are masking their intentions in order to win her over. In reality, in the cultures we live in, hiding your intentions is the norm. We’ve been conditioned into polite, well-mannered men, who hide our genuine, romantic intentions, in order to maintain this gentlemanly mystique. To quote the book Radical Honesty, “We’re a nation full of liars”. But because everyone does this, it’s easy to separate yourself from your everyday average joe: Guess how – By Going Direct!

The reason that guys don’t tend to learn this on their own is because whilst we as men have been conditioned into gentlemen, women have simultaneously been conditioned into ladies. When we are overly polite, well-mannered and nice in our approach to women, this tone is usually reciprocated by the girl – thus reinforcing the behavior. We are progressively encouraged to adopt this sort of behavior, when it’s doing us no favours at all with women.

Guys can be inclined to go indirect, because they fear the ‘aftermath’ of going direct. But I promise you now, man to man, daygamer to daygamer – getting blown out from a direct approach feels a million times better than having a ton of indirect approaches going nowhere.

Whenever you go indirect and you fail to transition to anything, you will always be left with the somber feeling of “What it?” However if you go direct, you know that there is nothing else that you could have done – basically direct game is good for the soul.

This Is How Girls Want To Be Approached!

This is the stuff movies are made of. Every girl I’ve ever been with who I met using this approach, has told me they LOVED it, as it had never happened to them before.

Despite what you’ve heard GIRLS DO NOT GET APPROACHED LIKE THIS. Sure, guys try to ‘strike up conversation’ with hot girls occasionally. But next to NOONE goes straight up and does what I do.

The reason that this is the best way to approach a girl is simply because you’re being YOURSELF from the moment you met the girl. You’re not hiding behind any scripted stuff, you’re just putting your personality out there on the line. The ultimate goal of game should be to find the girl/girls that are right for you – the ones that love the kind of person you are. Going direct is the only way to truly be yourself when going about doing this.

Somewhere out there on the streets there is your perfect 10. I don’t just mean
physically, I mean the one who will totally LOVE you. The one who will totally love everything about you. She’s out there man, and every second you spend sitting at your computer and not out on the street is one less second you could be spending with the girl of your dreams. Just go out there, be yourself from the start and you’re going to find her sooner than you think

If you found this article helpful, check out Mark’s article “Get Her Attention With Expression, Not Impression“, where he talks about following your intentions and why you should act in order to honestly express yourself.

- Andy

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on March 14, 2010

When it comes to Daygame, what are you going to be doing a lot of? That’s right fine sir – walking. Let’s not regress back into toddlerhood in an attempt to reassess how to put one foot in front of the other, but instead let’s talk about the most attractive way to present yourself whilst walking about your business during the day.

The Walk is less about the physical side (I hope you’d find walking easy by now) than the presence you create as you walk about. Start by addressing your body language. Are you walking with your shoulders back? Chin up? Spring in your step? Arms not stuffed into pockets? With a bit of swagger about yo’ bad self? All of these traits communicate that you are a confident person. When a girl notices you walking by, you want her to see a guy brimming with energy and strength. This leads us nicely onto the “noticing” part…

First impressions count. That’s something of which I think we can all agree on. First impressions count for so much in terms of attraction which is the reason why I place so much emphasis on your presence when it comes to approaching people. Let’s take a street game example. When is the first moment that a girl is going to notice you on the street? When you jump out in front of her? Possibly. This is basically the epitome of a “cold” approach.  More often than not you’ll see a girl across the street, with her head down, and she won’t even give herself the chance to notice you first. The cold approach without her first seeing you is your only option.

However, how about we crank the temperature up a little. What if we can have her notice us before we make our direct approach? What this does is it establishes a sense of familiarity between her and us before we make our move, therefore making your eventual approach less “cold”. The most effective way to have her notice us – I call this the “pre-approach” – is to establish eye contact with her first as she walks towards us on the street.

Notice how many guys will avert their eyes if a girl stares them down, especially if the girl is super hot? I used to do this – A LOT – before I started practicing day game. Also this happens when the guy is caught off-guard (ie. he’s in his head instead of appreciating the moment in front of him). Averting the eye is a symptom of being uncomfortable, which in this context is a beta characteristic we don’t want to mimic. In fact, hot girls will often stare guys down to test their confidence – by staring a man down she is saying “can you handle the pressure of my complete attention?”. They use it to challenge a man, and I know from experience that girls react very favourably when you rise up to this particular challenge by holding eye contact. It sets a great precedent – “Your hotness and femininity does not faze me” – and also creates massive sexual tension when the two of you lock eyes and both refuse to “back down”.

Next time you’re out day gaming on the streets make a habit out of maintaining eye contact with any and every cute girl who walks past. Have a relaxed smile on your face. More often than not the girl will notice you, realise that you’re looking straight at her, and then look away shyly. You maintain your soft gaze and inevitably she will look back just as the two of you are crossing paths on the street to see if you’re still looking at her; This time you want to broaden the smile on your face. Give her that cheeky knowing smile to betray the feeling that the two of you have just enjoyed a little moment together. She will usually smile back, also appreciating the secret little moment which the both have you have just shared. Then, it is as easy as turning around and opening her direct as you usually would, just with a little preface to it. For example: “Hey, did we just have a little moment back there? Well I just had to come over and meet you…”.

This is the essence of pre-approaching. It doesn’t have to be complicated – it’s just the small things you do which get her attention before you make your approach. Another measure you might take is to speak/laugh loudly on the phone or to the friend beside you as she walks past. This demonstrates that you are a fun and confident guy, and will certainly cause her to register your presence.

You can put The Walk into practice right away. Even without the approaching, you will feel a lot more confident as a result of engaging in “eye-play” with girls. The tension I talked about will infuse you with intensity and bring you very much “into the moment”. Finally, strong presence is not just a technique for the streets, but is also important in all manner of interactions with people. So, all there’s left to say is – Utilise the eyes, guys!

- Mark Mowgli

Posted in Articles, Body Language, Outer Game on December 14, 2009

I thought I’d write a short article on raised eyebrows.

Naturally.

But I don’t mean are some over-English middle-classers scoffing over their Daily Mail (all English references!) at your (nothing but short of) heroic attempt to pick up a beautiful girl in the street. Those eyebrow mutinies have no effect on the seasoned Daygamer!

No, I’m referring to another kind of eyebrow retreat – the kind that can have a dramatic effect on your ability to impress the fairer sex during the day. It’s your eyebrows.

What.

The Fuck.

Are you talking about Andy?

Read on patient Daygamer.

I was teaching a student today and I noticed that every time he opened a hot girl he was RAISING his eyebrows to that of a surprised expression.

I asked him to ‘demo’ on me, and when he did his eyebrows had cunningly stepped back in line. Too late for the eyebrows though – I’d already seen their mischief and it was time to straighten them out.

The student was actually surprised to hear, that when he approached hot girls he was looking surprised.

I’ll tell you what I told him.

From where I was standing, the perception of this guy’s value was VERY different when he had a relaxed expression on his face (no eyebrow drifting) to when he approach with ‘surprised eyebrows’. Where before he looked relaxed, and UNAFFECTED emotionally by the high value person infront of them, now he looked like he was ‘really really very very sorry to both her’.

Raising your eyebrows when you approach is such a subtle thing, but it goes in the same naughty box as raising your voice tonality, laughing and smiling too much, and carrying her shopping for her. All of these things communicate that you REALLY want her to like you so are willing to supplicate and change your behaviour from your normal persona in order to try and win her favour.

Here’s the equation:

Raised eyebrows = “Please like me”.

“Please like me” = “You are much higher value than me, so I really really really really want you to like me, as my sense of self is solely reliant on people like you thinking well of me. God forbid you DON’T like me, as this would mean that I suck balls and don’t deserver to live, your majesty.”

So make sure you keep your eyebrows in check. A sharp spanking should do the trick, or if they still try and show you up a sharp death threat (with your beard trimmer) should put the issue to bed.

To conclude, just remember that one of the defining traits of a high value person is CONSISTENCY in their behaviour, no matter who they are interacting with. When you meet are approaching a beautiful woman, do with your eyebrows what you would do when approaching any one of your best friends.

Unless your best friends always greet you by jumping out from behind a wall and screaming “AAARRRRGGHHH!”

In that case, just do what you would do if you were friends with normal people.

Andy Yosha

Posted in Articles, Outer Game, What To Say on November 18, 2009

Grrr I’m angry. So many sticking points in game can be solved just by nurturing this freedom of expression within you. I don’t like seeing people fed up and stifled when I know most of the time it’s because their inclination to impress outweighs their inclination to express.

Too many guys try to impress girls – who can smell their desperation from a mile off. This is not how to get her attention in a high value way.

I’ve been in the community for over 2 years and have tried and experimented with many different techniques/mindsets. Recently I’ve been going out with the sole intention to just express myself, with nothing else running through my mind. This, in case you’re wondering, is the essence of a natural.

Here’s what it does for me

I have no anxiety because I have no expectation.

I know that I can only give value and not take value because I am only expressing… and again because I have no expectation of her.

I feel free and liberated because I do not keep thoughts and desires suppressed.

I feel happy because I am frequently exchanging positive vibes with strangers.

I become better at “outer game” because I am constantly confronted with new situations/personalities to address, and constantly happen upon new conversation threads so that I never run out of things to say in any one set. Also, I emit a relaxed and non-needy vibe… girls can sense this. I can get away with saying anything because there is no outcome (impression) attached.

I maintain a buzzing confidence and sense of worthiness – “state” – because merely the act of offering my personality to strangers feeds back into my ego – “I am enough”

I get more numbers, kisses, sexes etc. I get more results because I WANT more results and I EXPRESS this in the way I lead the interaction. LEADING IS AN ACT OF EXPRESSION.

There is no distinction between your normal self and your game self. Expression binds the two together. For example, I’m sitting with the family at dinner and a nice waitress comes along. I flirt, I tell her that she’s cute, and I get her number in private after the meal. There is no sarging per se.

So..

To really get her attention you need to start freely expressing yourself. Nothing in game is a big deal when you’ve ingrained the habit of expressing yourself freely. Amongst my friends, the guy who expresses himself most freely is the Yad – and he gets crazy amounts of attraction, and numbers, and coincidentally is a refreshing guy to hang out with. You know where you stand with a man who isn’t inhibited in expressing himself – whether that be expressing his insecurities, his happiness, or his thoughts. On the other hand, a guy who on perhaps a subconscious level is constantly monitoring his image and is trying to impress – you don’t know where he stands, and it’s annoying.

One might ask – “What if I’m a little bitch, I don’t really want to express that do I?” I’d answer – No, you’ve gotta first look at yourself and start thinking more positively. If need be then “fake it till you make it” – act happy if you’re not, act confident if you’re not, and the positive responses you will receive will feed right back into your self-image. With enough of this real, practical feedback, your brain will re-wire itself such that it will seek positive responses as a form of ego validation. I believe that ego validation is at first required to access core self-esteem. So, you continue acting happy and confident, and continue getting positive responses from girls to use as reference points. Reference points are required before opening up your beliefs to change – you cannot change your beliefs by reading a book. Eventually happiness and confidence becomes your default state. I hope this helped in understanding the powerful idea behind “fake it till you make it”

The world is a light place, and every time you express yourself positively to someone you are lightening the tension in your own body, and brightening up the life of another person – if only in small increments. I believe that contribution to this world comes not only in having a job, creating a product, and paying taxes, but also in affecting people positively with your being.

So next time you go out on the train, in the shop, at school etc. – get her attention by engaging her with the mindset of total freedom of expression. Perhaps first start with loosening up your body language because as we all know physiology affects psychology. Relax, smile, and drink in the energy of your environment, then turn to the cute girl on your right and open your mouth.

If you have any comments on this article “Get Her Attention With Expression, Not Impression”, please leave them below!

- Mark Mowgli