The important thing to remember is that the psychology of approaching a mobile girl as opposed to a stationary girl is slightly different, whereas in the former your giving her the idea that your picking her out and being a man of action, in the latter it feels like she’s picking herself out for you. This will remain an elephant in the room unless addressed in the initial moments. There are several things you can do towards snuffing out this elephant, firstly make sure you go into the approach with a bit more enthusiasm, as there’s a dead-ball situation going on you need to inject a bit of energy into the atmosphere unlike if your running up to her. This ball of energy plus raising and animating up your tonality whilst you approach head on with your body language should sweep her off in the moment and consequently induce her to becoming a player in the interaction.
The next thing to do is to mention something spontaneous, again to amp up the living-in-the-moment vibe, so if she’s standing at a bus stop, utter something along the lines of “hey I was just walking past and I couldn’t help but walk back and pay you a compliment, I love your style, plus I’ve never seen anyone look so content to be waiting at a bus stop, you must be having a good day” as always casually giving the impression that your on your way somewhere and had to live in the moment. Furthermore, you need to make sure you come across as proud of your actions, so if there are people around to overhear you then what a beautiful thing, they’ll love your vibe and might learn something.
Last but not least, to reassure her that your not a bossy sleazy so and so you should add a couple of sweet and gentlemanly lines, like “I hope I’m not disturbing you by the way” after the observational statement, by this point she should be loving you enough to then deliver something back like “oh no I’m just sitting/standing/waiting/bored looking at my phone etc”. On the beach I would act even more innocently “if you’d like to be left alone just tell me to go away” as they would be feeling even more vulnerable.
Summer is fast approaching so I hope you guys are doing your thing and getting out there!
Dutifully reporting from the Daygame frontlines
Summer’s peeping its shiny face around the corner and Tom Torero’s hitting the road again in search of the most beautiful, friendly and open (minded!) girls across Europe. He’ll be running the following Euro Bootcamps in June:
- Oslo, Norway – June 15th/16th
- Stockholm, Sweden – June 22nd/23rd
- Prague, Czech Republic – June 29th/30th
We’ve hand-picked these destinations because we have tried-and-tested each one for their ease of approaching, quality and friendliness of girls and general happy vibe of the place. They don’t come much better than these. Beaming blondes of Scandinavia and the sultry Slavs of Prague, what more could you ask for? Oh yeah, sunshine too and cheap beer, plus total ease of access thanks to budget airlines if you’re flying in!
Each bootcamp is 16 hours of mind-blowing street approaching over the two days, 100% infield, with the use of wireless microphones and video feedback. There’s a maximum of 4 students per bootcamp so Tom can make it as individualised and tailored as possible. First-come-first-served, so contact our bootcamp manager Bryan as soon as possible to reserve a place. You can email him on firstname.lastname@example.org or hit him up for free on Skype (daygame.com).
If you’ve booked your spot, here are some links to the most popular budget airlines and backpacking hostel website:
See you in the sun!
As well as the great list of movies Tom has posted, here is a short film that will bring some more Daygame motivation your way!
I’m sure many of us have found ourselves in a situation like this when starting out. You see your ideal woman only a few feet away, the circumstance is calling out for it, and you know you should do something.. but then before you make your move, your mind starts to kick in.
“Fuck, I can’t”
“It wouldn’t work”
“She has a boyfriend”
“I don’t want to interrupt her”
We get stuck in our heads and before you know it we are fighting ourselves for the next five minutes, motionless. Read the post by Jon “Letting Go Of Thinking” and listen to the wise words of Eckhart Tolle in the video. Jon even has a little exercise you can follow to let go of your over-thinking, it’s one of the best things you can learn. It will help you be more present, come out of your head, and take more action! Don’t think, do!
Brando, Bogart, Newman, Clooney, Travolta, Pitt….to name but a few. Here’s my ongoing list of movies that every player should watch – either for the seduction-based plot or the alpha qualities of the lead actors.
Commonalities of the men featured to take note of:
- Raw, solid, unapologetic confidence
- Direct with their intent, especially sexually
- Differentiate themselves by the way they dress
- They want the girl, but they don’t need her. “I don’t give a fuck” attitude which is the opposite of needy
- Masculine body language – swag, eye contact, voice, gestures
- Non-reactive to trials from women or the world
HEALTH WARNING: Note that Hollywood has to sugar-coat a lot of the endings of these films for general consumption, making a badass plot into a Disney Romance. Ignore.
When Harry Met Sally
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
A Streetcar Named Desire
Leaving Las Vegas
There Will Be Blood
From Dusk Till Dawn
The Tao of Steve
Crazy, Stupid Love
Van Wilder: Party Liason
Can’t Buy Me Love
9 1/2 weeks
Don Juan DeMarco
James Bond (Connery or Craig)
Meet Joe Black
Cruel Intentions (1, 2 and 3)
Let the Games Begin
Catch Me If You Can
Count Of Monte Cristo
Gone With The Wind
City of God
No Country For Old Men
Any of the Spaghetti Westerns
Californication (for Hank Moody)
Two And A Half Men (for Sheen)
Wise words from Eckhart Tolle regarding thinking and how to let go of it.
To put it simply – too much thinking in daygame and in life in general will mess you up.
Excessive thinking is the thing that stops you from approaching that girl. The moment you start thinking you’ll start talking yourself out of approaching. Don’t think, just do it.
Excessive thinking is the thing that makes you run out of things to say. Don’t get stuck in your head. Listen to what she is saying and don’t constantly search your mind for the next thing to say. Just talk off the top of your head in the moment.
Excessive thinking is the thing that will keep you in a negative state of mind every day. Stop thinking and start feeling and being.
Here’s an exercise for you. When doing a simple task that you would normally do on “autopilot”, like cutting a vegetable in the kitchen, try and do it mindfully. Take your attention out of your head and put it on the task at hand. How does your breath feel at this moment? How does the knife feel in your hand slicing through the vegetable? How do your feet feel on the ground? The moment you do this, and you take yourself out of your head, you are in the present moment. Make a habit out of it. Take small tasks that you would normally do on “autopilot” while thinking about other things and do them mindfully, eg. washing dishes, cooking, cleaning teeth etc.
If you can create this habit then effectively you are doing little “meditations” all throughout the day. If you struggle with meditation then this would be a good place to start.
Thinking is necessary for life and when used correctly is an amazing ability that separates us from animals. Too much of it and you can end up living your life stuck in your thoughts of the past and future and never truly being in the present moment.
To quote Bruce Lee – “Don’t think, feel….it is like a finger pointing a way to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory!”
Jon Matrix and Sam discuss texting and give you 5 simple steps to follow.
Texting is not something you need to spend a lot of time “getting good” at. You just need to keep it simple and don’t be needy.
The steps -
1. It’s all about the interaction - If girls are not replying to your initial text, it’s not the text that’s the problem. It’s the initial interaction. If a girl likes you she will reply.
2. Text the same day, don’t leave it. The more time that passes before you text her, the more the vibe that you had with her can die. Girls will forget you.
3. Don’t be needy. The golden rule. Avoid asking silly questions that you don’t care about the answer to just because you want the reassurance of a reply. Don’t be too available, if you’re not busy give the illusion that you are. When arranging a date, give the option of 2 days.
4. Don’t get addicted to texting. Texting can make you high. Too much can kill attraction and sexual tension. Gauge whether girls are “texters” or not. If a girl is not a texter don’t engineer a conversation that isn’t there.
5. See it as a means to an end. Texting is just a means to get her out on a date. You want to get her out on a date as soon as possible, not be texting back and forth for 2 weeks before you see her.
Follow these steps and remember keep it simple.
It’s my final night in Russia before I fly home and a girl that I have just slept with has left my house. The fourth one in four days – a record for me abroad! My room’s a mess, there are dishes in the sink and I need to pack, but I have a burning desire to give away a secret that’s helped me get laid (sorry — make sweet love) so much in the last few days.
In my last post I gave away my baby-making mp3 selection that I use when a girl’s back at my house and in my room. Well, for this post I wanted to share with you what I consider to be the best movie to watch with a girl when you’re trying to get it on.
I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona in the last four years. It’s the perfect date movie for so many reasons. The story, in a nutshell, is about two American women (Vicky and Cristina) who spend a summer in Barcelona where they meet an artist, Juan Antonio. He is attracted to (and sleeps with) both of them while still enamored with his mentally and emotionally unstable ex-wife Maria.
The character of Juan Antonio represents the perfect alpha male in terms of a direct, honest mindset combined with killer body language, voice, eye-contact and non-reactivity. The three different personalities of the girls span the different mindsets that the girl back at your place might have, so she’s sure to identify with it too.
There are non-explicit seduction and sex scenes early on in the film that set the tone when you’re lying on the bed with your girl watching the film on your laptop. Remember the “push-pull” dynamic that should be employed at this stage of dating – where you’re kissing and cuddling one minute, then watching the film the next. That racks up the sexual tension nicely, just like the film’s story-line.
The topics in the film are perfect for getting the girl in the right frame of mind, and there’s lots you can talk about with her – open vs. closed relationships, lust vs. love, good guys vs. bad guys etc.
Usually by the halfway mark, clothes should be coming off you and the girl and you hopefully won’t make it to the end of the film as you’ll be too busy getting down to business! But watch the film again when you’re on your own to observe and soak in the vibe of the male lead (Javier Bardem) which alone is daygame personified to perfection. The above scene from the film where he meets the girls will show you what I mean.
Do you have any other date films that have worked for you in the past? Let me know by leaving a comment below.
Ok, so forget the baby-making bit perhaps, but if you’re wondering what music the daygame.com instructors put on in the bedroom (separate bedrooms of course) to set the right atmosphere then look no further.
You could make a playlist and have it on your MP3 player, but a seamless mix like this is a much better option. It’s over an hour long, full of sexy tempos and vibes, and you just need to hit play once and then let nature takes its course.
Having the right music in your bedroom, just like the right low lighting, is a key part of sorting your logistics. You don’t want to be fumbling with your laptop and speakers, so have it all set up and ready to go before the date’s even started. I recommend downloading these tracks by the master SheepyMix so you don’t have to rely on Youtube and an internet connection.
Click here to check out his full channel for other great zig-a-zig-ah inspiring beats. Oh, and wear a condom
Tom Torero reports back from wildest Russia where he’s been sampling the delights of local delicacies!
Here I explain a commonly misunderstood concept – using assumptions properly and displaying your personality.
During an approach guys often forget the fundamental reason why we make assumptions and end up using assumptions alone without displaying any of their personality. They then get flake after flake and wonder why.
In the BluePrint we describe making “Assumption Stories” to accompany your assumptions. In a nutshell this means talking about subjects as they come up from the assumptions you’ve made. What happens when you don’t make “Assumption Stories” to accompany your assumptions? You get a flake….
Why do we need “Assumption Stories”? - To display our personality. We display our personality when we are the ones doing the “work”, when we are the ones doing the talking. This is the key to making girls comfortable very quickly and avoiding flakes. At the beginning of an interaction you should latch on to a topic as quickly as possible and start talking about it. The key is not to censor yourself, say whatever comes into your head. When you do this you will find yourself getting into conversations effortlessly and the whole thing will start to flow.
Try and see it from the girls point of view. If you don’t display your personality why would she remember you? Why would she want to see you again?
And the flipside to this and how I feel myself now when I get a girls number is I know she won’t flake, why would she? If you do this stuff right it makes no sense for her to flake.
That’s whats so magical about the Daygame Model that Andy put together – If you do it right it works every time, and once you get the knack Daygame becomes ridiculously easy.
If you want to really master this stuff and see me applying it on the street with in depth breakdowns of each approach from Tom Torero and myself check out my infield product “Effortless Infield” - http://www.effortlessinfield.com/
Happy with getting the contact details from girls during the day? Maybe you’re getting some “flakey” numbers where they don’t text back. Or you’re looking to practice your dating skills beyond the street interactions.
The next step is to try taking a girl on a date within minutes of meeting her – an “instant date.” It’s not as difficult as it sounds, and it’s an ideal way to solidify interactions to make sure you see her again.
Here’s how Tom does it in the video:
* Capture her using the Yad Stop and a compliment
* Attract her using playful statements and assumptions, with teasing and challenging
* Move into rapport once she’s “hooked” and starts investing in the conversation
* Ask her (or rather tell her) about a coffee, saying you’re going anyway and you’ve only got ten minutes
* Lead by moving off towards a coffee shop
Me & Yad are in sunny Brazil enjoying palm trees, beaches, and beautiful round asses! One thing I’ve noticed since being here and speaking to the senoritas, is how much I include knowledge in to my conversations now. It’s an important part of the attraction phase and a great way to show a girl your sociability factor; how social you are and how beautiful your life is.
Check out the video and get adding to your bank of knowledge!
The girl ordering coffee in front of you. The girl getting off the subway behind you. The girl walking past you. The girl sitting next to you in the cafe. The girl buying her shopping ahead of you. Either you move towards the unknown and do something, or you don’t. A split second decision that could change your whole life. Walk towards fear. Embrace the new. Less thought, more action! Luck is an attitude.