The Blog
Posted in News, Random, Stories on April 14, 2012
The latest episode of the Daygame Diaries explains why Norwegian photographer Oystein Bjerke took Martin, me and a rapper into the Daygame HQ bathroom to get wet.
It’s been a mad week in the house with the photo shoots, a new product going live (“Conversation King“), the planning of this weekend’s bootcamp documentary and lots of antics in between. Who said not having a 9-5 job was relaxing?!
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on April 5, 2012
Hey guys, here’s a quick video about one of the most important things I’ve learned in daygame – being yourself.
When I first got in to daygame I used to be extremely careful with what I said to girls, I would think too much and censor what I was saying. Now I just say whatever comes into my head, not scared that it might offend her.
This is what ‘being in the moment’ is all about. Once you master this aspect the whole thing becomes effortless. This is why I always look so chilled when I approach 
. Enjoy!
- Jon Matrix
Posted in Random on April 5, 2012
“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”
Tony Robbins
Posted in Random on March 9, 2012
Footage from Daygame Blueprint of Andy Yosha and Yad telling you what women really think about being approached during the day, from their experience approaching 1000s of women all round the world.
Posted in News on March 6, 2012
Check out our new Frequently Asked Questions section of the website, where we answer the most common questions that are sent to daygame HQ. How do you stop two girls? Does daygame work at college? How do you get started? Why is daygame different from all the other “pick-up” stuff out there? Let me know if you’d like other key questions answered and I’ll add them to the list if they come up again and again.
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on March 4, 2012
We catch up with Yad on the streets of London for some quick tips to help guys trying to pick up a model. Simple, concise and effective.
Posted in Random on January 31, 2012
An excellent article in today’s London Evening Standard on the elusive quality of charm, that every daygamer should strive to have buckets of:
Charm? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is “any quality, attribute, trait, feature, etc, which exerts a fascinating or attractive influence, exciting love or admiration”.
According to Albert Camus it is “a way of getting the answer yes without having asked a clear question” – which may explain why we usually use the term wryly, or sarcastically these days. Think “charm the pants off”, or “charm offensive”.
“Charming!” we say, when some knucklehead pushes in front of us on the Tube, or when the front-of-house staff sit us by the loo and tell us they’ll need the table back in 45 minutes.
A world of automated announcements, self-service checkouts and identikit restaurant chains can often seem a charmless one – but that only makes charm a more valuable commodity. It would appear that, on the social stock exchange, charm is soaring in 2012.
Look at the Oscars. The Artist and Hugo, the films with the most nominations, are nothing if not charming. The favourite for best actor is George Clooney for his turn in The Descendants, charm personified. We’ve The Great Gatsby, from more debonair age, to look forward to. Closer to home, Jessica Raine in the new BBC series Call the Midwife, set in the wonderfully civil 1950s, is enchanting the nation. Fashionwise, the spring/summer collections are full of light-hearted pastels and girlish frills, a move away from grown-up sexiness towards a giggling Jules et Jim vibe.
The latest issue of Monocle magazine is devoted to charm, which it calls “the new buzzword for 2012 and beyond”, saying it’s the small touches that make the difference. (Japan, incidentally, is supposedly the most charming country in the world, while the premises of London creative agency Pentagram are identified as the most charming office in the world.)
This is the high end of charm – and yet, charm is not class- or money-bound. We can equally be charmed by an NHS nurse or a shop assistant. In this week’s New Yorker, there is a fascinating seven-page profile of an unglamorous bartender named Bob Bozic, simply because he spins a good yarn. He is charming, in other words.
In London, the venues we want to go to are increasingly not prestige places but those that make us feel welcome. That’s the driving force behind the secret restaurant craze. At Duck Soup in Soho they have a record player and a bring-your-own vinyl policy. Like all of Russell Norman’s restaurants, Mishkin’s is intensely charming, all dinky plates and old-time hospitality. Charm is why cheery Gaby’s Deli on St Martin’s Lane has a campaign to save it – while Little Chef does not.
I ask one of the most charming people I know, Paddy Renouf, to define the elusive quality. He has made a business of his charm, as a sort of professional flâneur and host. “It’s the magic dust that you sprinkle on things,” he says. “It can seem superficial, but it’s got to be sincere otherwise it isn’t charm, it’s smarm. There is nothing less charming than being charmed.”
In other words, you cannot fake it. Nor can you measure or commodify charm – much as many corporations would like to (“have you guys ever eaten at Wagamama’s before?”). Real charm does not come from grandiose gestures, either, or from overwhelming the recipient. It comes from generosity of spirit, from listening and responding openly and graciously. Paddy quotes the Swiss philosopher, Henri-Frédéric Amiel: “Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves.”
And when applied properly, it increases the sum of happiness. A report from the Young Foundation last year found that civility is more important than crime statistics in measuring day-to-day wellbeing. Our interactions matter. And even better than that – charm is contagious.
Posted in News on December 26, 2011
Hey guys,
If you haven’t see it yet, make sure you click here to watch Andy’s featured talk at the 21 Convention London.
Andy tells his personal story with his batter with fear, and how he cam to learn how to conquer it. Definitely worth a watch when you get some spare time this Christmas!
Posted in Random on December 22, 2011
Saw this just now and made me smile. It’s one of the beautiful things about daygame that by transcending “social norms,” the urban life is transformed and magical effects happen. Any daygame outing can light up people’s faces, be full of crazy adventures, and spread much-needed positivity and spontaneity around our concrete jungles. Go out and find the amazing everyday.
- Tom Torero
Posted in News on November 20, 2011
Asger closing two Swedish girls today
It’s been a great few weeks of bootcamps, with the shorter days and colder weather not making a difference. We’ve had some amazing students and stories (including getting stuck in a lift today at Jon’s house) which have taken the bootcamps to the next level.
Yesterday we recorded lots of sections of the bootcamp as audio snippets….teaching, approaches, feedback, interviews, randomness. We’re going to edit them together and release them as a bootcamp podcast, so watch this space.
The guys coming on the bootcamps are getting more and more dedicated, and coming from further afield…the USA, Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, Norway. With the new wireless microphones and two days of videoing, we’ve never had it so good in being able to hear and see exactly where guys need to make tweeks to their daygame. Jamie, our ninja cameraman, keeps working wonders each week to film the infields, and even Mini has had a go holding the camera when he’s been off.
Amazing things have been happening more and more…..an instant-date on a first approach during the first day’s warmup (nice work Ashley!), three number closes of three Swedish 2-sets in a row (awesome stuff Asger!). Jon’s been on awesome form in the last few weeks too. Maybe because he’s not bringing his famous daygame sandwiches anymore but eating at the greasy spoon cafe with us!
It’s also great bumping into former bootcamp students who are out daygaming on the streets….slowly but surely we are taking over central London and leaving no beautiful woman unopened. Perhaps we’ll have to move cities and begin the revolution there too….
- Tom Torero
Click here to find out more about our bootcamps and see infield footage of students approaching during training.
Posted in Random on November 6, 2011
Elephant in the Room: n. metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed.
This is an underused but key concept in daygame, from helping girls hook to getting her into your bed. Time and time again when I’m teaching I remind students to “say the elephant!” to diffuse any social awkwardness and make the girl feel at ease.
Take approaching a girl sitting in a coffe shop, for example. You could just walk straight up to her and approach as normal. But you’re ignoring the extra social pressure that she feels when sitting down and having someone “invade” her space. A more calibrated daygamer would call out this elephant in the room, and mention it before he gives the compliment:
“Hey, I know you’re relaxing with your book and coffee, and that this is pretty random, but I wanted to come over quickly and say you look really nice.”
Same if she’s in a clothes shop and you open. Preframe the compliment with something that shows you recognise the social awkwardness of a guy hitting on a girl in the womens’ section of a store.
A few years ago I went to see a stand-up comedian in central London. As he walked onto the stage, the whole crowd was transfixed on only one thing…the size of his nose. It was massive, a real Pinocchio job. Smartly, the guy immediately pointed at it and encouraged people to laugh. By calling it out as soon as possible he was diffusing a potentially tough round of heckling and using it to his advantage.
I use the “elephant trick” all the time in daygame, especially when there’s added social pressure when I’m opening in cafes, shops, public transport and if the girl’s seated or waiting. By saying what I see, I’m displaying my social intelligence and removing the awkwardness. I encourage students to do it on the street, if they’re nervous or run out of things to say. By admitting it to the girl, the power is kept in the student’s hands.
I’ll also do it on dates, if I do something clumsy or know that she’s thinking about something like food between her teeth or the need to catch her bus. Even in the bedroom it works a treat if you say the “elephant” before she does….like it’s all so fast, or so random, or that you haven’t tidied up! If you don’t bring stuff like this up, she might, which could pop the bubble.
Saying the “elephant” adds realism, spontaneity and vulnerability to your daygame arsenal; key ingredients for showing that you’re not a robotic player but someone who realises that it’s ok to be human.
P.S. Click here to see new free infields of Yad and Andy approaching on the streets, elephants and all!
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on October 12, 2011
Yad popped round for a game of Fifa 12 yesterday. Last time I played him I kicked his ass.
What happened this time? See for yourself.
Andy.
Posted in Random on May 20, 2011
Someone just posted this on facebook – I had to steal it
