Random
Posted in Random on January 31, 2012
An excellent article in today’s London Evening Standard on the elusive quality of charm, that every daygamer should strive to have buckets of:
Charm? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is “any quality, attribute, trait, feature, etc, which exerts a fascinating or attractive influence, exciting love or admiration”.
According to Albert Camus it is “a way of getting the answer yes without having asked a clear question” – which may explain why we usually use the term wryly, or sarcastically these days. Think “charm the pants off”, or “charm offensive”.
“Charming!” we say, when some knucklehead pushes in front of us on the Tube, or when the front-of-house staff sit us by the loo and tell us they’ll need the table back in 45 minutes.
A world of automated announcements, self-service checkouts and identikit restaurant chains can often seem a charmless one – but that only makes charm a more valuable commodity. It would appear that, on the social stock exchange, charm is soaring in 2012.
Look at the Oscars. The Artist and Hugo, the films with the most nominations, are nothing if not charming. The favourite for best actor is George Clooney for his turn in The Descendants, charm personified. We’ve The Great Gatsby, from more debonair age, to look forward to. Closer to home, Jessica Raine in the new BBC series Call the Midwife, set in the wonderfully civil 1950s, is enchanting the nation. Fashionwise, the spring/summer collections are full of light-hearted pastels and girlish frills, a move away from grown-up sexiness towards a giggling Jules et Jim vibe.
The latest issue of Monocle magazine is devoted to charm, which it calls “the new buzzword for 2012 and beyond”, saying it’s the small touches that make the difference. (Japan, incidentally, is supposedly the most charming country in the world, while the premises of London creative agency Pentagram are identified as the most charming office in the world.)
This is the high end of charm – and yet, charm is not class- or money-bound. We can equally be charmed by an NHS nurse or a shop assistant. In this week’s New Yorker, there is a fascinating seven-page profile of an unglamorous bartender named Bob Bozic, simply because he spins a good yarn. He is charming, in other words.
In London, the venues we want to go to are increasingly not prestige places but those that make us feel welcome. That’s the driving force behind the secret restaurant craze. At Duck Soup in Soho they have a record player and a bring-your-own vinyl policy. Like all of Russell Norman’s restaurants, Mishkin’s is intensely charming, all dinky plates and old-time hospitality. Charm is why cheery Gaby’s Deli on St Martin’s Lane has a campaign to save it – while Little Chef does not.
I ask one of the most charming people I know, Paddy Renouf, to define the elusive quality. He has made a business of his charm, as a sort of professional flâneur and host. “It’s the magic dust that you sprinkle on things,” he says. “It can seem superficial, but it’s got to be sincere otherwise it isn’t charm, it’s smarm. There is nothing less charming than being charmed.”
In other words, you cannot fake it. Nor can you measure or commodify charm – much as many corporations would like to (“have you guys ever eaten at Wagamama’s before?”). Real charm does not come from grandiose gestures, either, or from overwhelming the recipient. It comes from generosity of spirit, from listening and responding openly and graciously. Paddy quotes the Swiss philosopher, Henri-Frédéric Amiel: “Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves.”
And when applied properly, it increases the sum of happiness. A report from the Young Foundation last year found that civility is more important than crime statistics in measuring day-to-day wellbeing. Our interactions matter. And even better than that – charm is contagious.
Posted in Random on December 29, 2011
John and Tom out fishing in Oslo
How do you run a two-set? That’s a very common question guys have each week on the bootcamp, and something that we go through in detail. We might do a whole podcast on it in future, but I thought I’d go through something here which John and I are big fans of and which has been very (re)productive!
If you do daygame with a good mate or a trusted wing, then there’s no reason why you can’t stop two girls together and then instant date them, take them to a club or straight home. It’s something we’ve done many times and which can really be successful, especially in the evenings when your aim is to go on a date with them there and then. Here’s how it works…
1. One of you stops them (Yad stop) and delivers the normal compliment and statements. John and I only open two girls that are both good looking, so the compliment is aimed at both of them (“I think you both look really nice”). If only one is hot, then deliver the compliment to her but make the statements through the friend (“Your friend looks so Swedish, like she’s just come out of the forest”) to keep her occupied.
2. The second person (who has been waiting unseen) comes in after he sees that the compliment / statement has been delivered. The person who opened the set is the one who controls it, and should by now be standing next to the girl he likes from the pair. Say something like: “There you are…I leave you for one minute and you’re talking to girls!” as you come in.
3. Let the person running the set continue leading it until a hook has been reached, then your job is to help him out, and slowly split the conversation so that you’re talking to the other girl while he talks to his. You’ve now created two one-on-one sets.
4. From time to time, check in with your friend and merge conversations if needs be. Remember he’s running the set, so if you see him going for a number close then your job is to occupy the other girl while he does that. It’s his job to suggest the bounce if things are on, and then you help him out.
5. It’s easier than you think to get two girls to come for a drink, there and then. There’s less pressure on the girls than in a one-on-one set, as she’s with her friend and she can see that you’re a normal guy with your mate too.
6. Once they’re on an instant date with you, establish logistics fast and discuss with your buddy what the plan is while you’re standing at the bar or in the gents. Remember wing rules – whoever opened runs it, so don’t swap girls without checking it’s cool.
A little tip for the person opening the set and making statements…use contrasts between the two girls to spark attraction….observe how one is tall and one is short, one is blonde and one is brunette, one is chatty and one is not etc.
Hope that helps. Go forth and daygame, two-by-two!
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on December 22, 2011
Saw this just now and made me smile. It’s one of the beautiful things about daygame that by transcending “social norms,” the urban life is transformed and magical effects happen. Any daygame outing can light up people’s faces, be full of crazy adventures, and spread much-needed positivity and spontaneity around our concrete jungles. Go out and find the amazing everyday.
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on December 16, 2011
Got a call from my good friend Rob (Beckster) to go for a beer with him and his girlfriend tonight, south of the river. As one of the world’s best night game pick-up artists (who games with Mystery, Style, Ross Jeffries) he’s always trying to seduce me over to his side of the fence with his vast treasure trove of routines, dance floor moves and same-day-lay sexual qualifications. If it’s strippers and threesomes or moresomes you want, then Rob’s your man. The “quiet beer” turned into a crazy night of him sending me into pub sets where I ran my usual daygame structure, just with higher energy and a more cocky vibe. It worked a treat, especially combining it with some dancefloor stuff and fast escalation.
The danger of daygame can be that you spend so much time in comfort that you lose the raw mojo of escalating, so adding a bit of pub game (in environments where you can talk and run your usual daygame structure) will sharpen you up no end . Am I converting to night game….no, but am I amazed by Rob’s super persuasive powers…yes!
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on November 29, 2011
It’s been a crazy few weeks of going on a string of dates…not just your regular “Day2″ drinks, but with Martin our undercover daygame.com cameraman in tow for a new product.
Picture the scene. I’m sitting next to a girl I met on the street a few days before in a bar getting to know her. I’m wired up with an audio microphone, and Martin’s sitting across the room filming with a mini buttonhole camera. Inside my watch I’ve got a night-vision high def camera rolling too, and we’re recording everything. Obviously the girl’s identity will be hidden and her face blurred, but this is as close you’ll ever get of seeing our dating “model” in action.
The logistics of getting it all on film, from comfort to seduction, are not straightforward, but Martin’s doing a grand job. The product’s going to be released in early 2012 and will take guys step-by-step through what to do on dates, from the first interaction after the number close right up until the bedroom. Nothing like this has ever been done before, but in true daygame.com fashion we’re pushing the boat out for the sake of dating mastery.
So if you see me in a central London bar, my watch angled, a guy wearing his coat with buttons opposite slowly drinking, come and say hello if you’d like to be immortalised on film forever!
- Tom Torero
P.S: There’s only TWO more places left on our December bootcamps at the current price. From 2012 they’ll be going up by £200, so click here to grab them before they sell out if you’re interested!
Posted in Random on November 6, 2011
Elephant in the Room: n. metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed.
This is an underused but key concept in daygame, from helping girls hook to getting her into your bed. Time and time again when I’m teaching I remind students to “say the elephant!” to diffuse any social awkwardness and make the girl feel at ease.
Take approaching a girl sitting in a coffe shop, for example. You could just walk straight up to her and approach as normal. But you’re ignoring the extra social pressure that she feels when sitting down and having someone “invade” her space. A more calibrated daygamer would call out this elephant in the room, and mention it before he gives the compliment:
“Hey, I know you’re relaxing with your book and coffee, and that this is pretty random, but I wanted to come over quickly and say you look really nice.”
Same if she’s in a clothes shop and you open. Preframe the compliment with something that shows you recognise the social awkwardness of a guy hitting on a girl in the womens’ section of a store.
A few years ago I went to see a stand-up comedian in central London. As he walked onto the stage, the whole crowd was transfixed on only one thing…the size of his nose. It was massive, a real Pinocchio job. Smartly, the guy immediately pointed at it and encouraged people to laugh. By calling it out as soon as possible he was diffusing a potentially tough round of heckling and using it to his advantage.
I use the “elephant trick” all the time in daygame, especially when there’s added social pressure when I’m opening in cafes, shops, public transport and if the girl’s seated or waiting. By saying what I see, I’m displaying my social intelligence and removing the awkwardness. I encourage students to do it on the street, if they’re nervous or run out of things to say. By admitting it to the girl, the power is kept in the student’s hands.
I’ll also do it on dates, if I do something clumsy or know that she’s thinking about something like food between her teeth or the need to catch her bus. Even in the bedroom it works a treat if you say the “elephant” before she does….like it’s all so fast, or so random, or that you haven’t tidied up! If you don’t bring stuff like this up, she might, which could pop the bubble.
Saying the “elephant” adds realism, spontaneity and vulnerability to your daygame arsenal; key ingredients for showing that you’re not a robotic player but someone who realises that it’s ok to be human.
P.S. Click here to see new free infields of Yad and Andy approaching on the streets, elephants and all!
- Tom Torero
Posted in Random on October 12, 2011
Yad popped round for a game of Fifa 12 yesterday. Last time I played him I kicked his ass.
What happened this time? See for yourself.
Andy.
Posted in Random on May 20, 2011
Someone just posted this on facebook – I had to steal it 
Posted in Random on April 16, 2011
A short, simple clip from the film “Three Kings”. George Clooney’s character tells a fellow soldier how fear and courage works.
Want to know how to get the confidence to approach that stunning woman? Watch this video to hear the painful truth!
Posted in Random on March 23, 2011
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched on nutrition and exercise. Drew Baye in “The Community Tapes”, a documentary created by Anthony ‘Dream’ Johnson from The 21 Convention. If you are interested in becoming the most attractive, healthy person you possibly be, WATCH THIS VIDEO.
Posted in Random on March 19, 2011
You might just find more than eggs and milk…
Posted in Random on March 16, 2011
Oh man…. this cracked me up 
Posted in Random on March 4, 2011
I couldn’t put it better myself. Ditch the routines guys. WATCH THIS VIDEO.
Posted in Random on February 24, 2011
Just found this on Youtube – hilarious!
Posted in Random on February 17, 2011
Someone just shared this on Facebook (thanks if it was you!) and if you want something to motivate you to approach a hot girl today you definitely need to watch it. Look how many guys LOOK at her, but DON’T approach!
By just approaching you’re doing what NOONE ELSE does! Be the 0.005%.
