When we talk to men about women they are attracted to… one of the most common questions we’re asked is: “How do I get a girl to like me?”
We men are very concerned about whether girls who interest us like us or not. And the question of how to get a girl to like you is one that constantly circles the minds of most men who are frustrated with their current dating situation.
Sometimes, we can even crave the approval of women we do not like… because deep down, we want to feel liked and appreciated. In spite of what is often said, we aren’t that interested in just “getting laid”. Because a drunken one-night stand, with a woman who just finds us physically attractive, doesn’t give us that warm, good feeling — because she did not like us for our real selves.
We want to know how to get a girl to like us for the person we are. That is why men tire of one-night stands and begin to search for “the one” — that special girl who truly loves them. That is the girl we truly want to win.
The Blind Leading The Blind
Therefore, it makes it all the more sad and disheartening that most advice about making a woman like you is flat out wrong and actually highly manipulative.
These are not effective ways for getting a girl to like you.
Contrary to popular “wisdom”… making a woman like you has nothing to do with buying her things, taking her out to dinner, or giving her a lot of compliments. When we do these things… we aren’t really giving her anything. Because implicitly, we expect something back, and we’re practically trying to buy her affection. Women hate that, because it objectifies them — more than anything else.
That is why they choose the bad boy over the nice guy. Because, as rude as he is… he is completely honest about his desires… is not trying to buy her… and behaves like the person he is, take it or leave it.
He is not thinking from the mindset of “how do I get a girl to like me”.
We Feel Your Pain
When us guys in the Daygame.com team first started out on our journeys, we had the same problem. We believed the same delusions.
No one taught us how to make women like us. And we were tired of the heartache of being rejected or unappreciated — especially since we did all those things that we were convinced would and should work.
As we continued to develop ourselves and our skills, we met boatloads of women. And a lot of them — especially in the beginning — did not like us at all. And of course, that is tough. In time, however, we also started meeting a lot of women who did like us, and we started seeing the true patterns of what actually made them like us.
These weren’t things anyone told us.
In many cases it was the exact opposite of what people had said. We had to learn it all by hard trial and error. We understood the principles underlying women’s attraction for us. And as a result of this, we can share that with you in this article.
It’s Not What You Think
This may come as a surprise to you. But it has nothing to do with techniques… or impressing women through a show of our physicality, our wealth or our accomplishments. Rather, it’s all about being an interesting man who can stand up for himself, and present his true self without apology.
Even if this article on “how to get a girl to like you” is presented in a very logical and structured manner… we strongly urge you not to view the steps presented as tricks or techniques that you can “use” to make a woman like you.
Because they’re not. And, if that’s what you’re playing at, women will sniff it out.
See them as guiding principles — a way to develop yourself as a person in order to become the kind of man that naturally exhibits these characteristics. If you do that, then attracting women will be effortless and part of your personality.
But, feel to use these principles as training wheels to help change your beliefs and perspective. Transformation takes time. And a small amount of “fake it till you make it” can accelerate your progress — as long as you remember it’s not about using techniques to mask your true self.
Awesome. Then let’s kick off with the principles!
1. Don’t Be Needy And Approval-Seeking
When most men meet women, they don’t actually present their true selves — mostly from a fear of rejection, or a feeling of not being good-looking enough, tall enough or rich enough. Therefore, they try instead to present an image of themselves that they imagine a woman will find attractive. Basically, they play a false role.
As a man… you can tell when someone is clearly lying and trying to act like someone else, rather than who they really are… right?
Then why on earth would you think that a woman can’t do the same? They’re just as smart as we are! In fact, they pick up on it instantly. And they can’t stand it.
When we put on a mask, we can’t show ourselves as we truly are. And, as such, it becomes impossible for a woman to like us for who we really are… because she is not seeing that person.
Present your true self. Invite her to get to know you as you really are.
Most men will be careful about what they say to women… always weighing their words, jumping on every chance to agree with her and milk the last drop out of every commonality they can find. Women know that when a man does this, it’s because he is dependent on their reaction and approval. And it puts them off, because it shows you are not comfortable with your personality unless others are approving of it too.
It shows you are not secure in your worth.
One of the things women respect the most in a man is… when he’s willing to risk not being liked and approved of. Because this demonstrates he has faith in who he is, and that he’s not willing to sell himself out to make others like him.
2. Talk To Her As You Would Talk To One Of Her Friends
The typical date has a tendency to get really awkward when one or both parties become overly nervous. In fact, that is one of the main reasons that women will flake on a man. It’s not necessarily because she doesn’t like him. Rather, it’s more likely to be because the whole concept of going on a date involves the risk of being stuck in an awkward situation.
Think about how you behave when you’re with your friends.
You don’t try to act cool. You don’t over-think the things you do out of fear of disapproval. You just kick back, laugh, talk and enjoy yourself. And this is exactly how you should behave around women you like. Because when you’re relaxed and open, it allows her to feel the same way.
How would you behave if you were talking to a woman to whom you did not feel attracted?
Reflect a little on that, and keep the same kind of calmness when talking with the women you do like. You will feel a lot better, and so will she. She will also respect you more — as you treat her like a person instead of just an object of desire. And she will like you all the more for it.
Say what you truly mean. Disagree with her when you really do. Don’t get overexcited about every little commonality. And realize that if you present yourself as you truly are, and she doesn’t like you… it’s okay! Why would you want to be with a girl who doesn’t like you for who you truly are?
3. Let Her Talk About Herself
Often, we try to find a topic that the woman we are talking to will be interested in. But we forget that the one topic of ultimate interest to anyone is themselves.
People are interested in people who are interested in them.
On dates, men often try to keep the conversation going at all times. They do the lion’s share of the talking themselves — boring the girl to death and not letting her have a word in edgeways.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves. And women especially like to talk in detailed images — more so than men, who talk in more logical sequences.
Ask the girl an open question about herself, and then let her talk about it. Simply listen and pick up on the things she tells you. Then ask her follow up questions.
You’ll be able to make her talk for a long time. She’ll appreciate that you are taking the time to actually listen to her instead of trying to show yourself off. And, while she’s talking about the things that interest her, she’ll feel the good emotions connected with them. She’ll connect those emotions to you. And she’ll feel much more comfortable sharing things and opening up to you in the future.
Next time you’re talking to a woman… try to zero in on what she is passionate about and let her elaborate on it. Just ask her this simple question:
“What is it that you love to do the most in life?”
4. Be Playful And Tease her
I bet that when you were in nursery school… you were constantly teasing the girls, especially the ones you liked. It’s a very primitive style of flirting.
But what you might not realize is, it’s still an effective flirting technique when we’re older. We just have to do it a little differently. (I.e. don’t kick her in the shins.)
Teasing a woman demonstrates to her that you are not afraid to do something that she may not like. And it also demonstrates your humour, while showing that you’re not putting her on a pedestal — treating her as a fragile porcelain doll, which must always be handled with the utmost care. It’s the perfect way to demonstrate that you’re not thinking from the mindset of “how do I get a girl to like me”.
She will pretend to act offended.
But she’ll have a huge smile on her face at all times, as she understands that it’s meant as flirting. And she’s just playing her part. She’ll love it. And, often, she’ll return the favour too. This fun banter builds a connection between the two of you. And building this connection is the foundation of how to get a girl to like you.
Let me give you an example.
My mate Jon met a beautiful girl last week, who told him she was in town for London Fashion Week. He obviously saw that she was a model. But just to tease her, he asked:
“So… you’re a reporter, or something, then?”
She laughed and lit up. Because, even though she knew he was joking, she loved the fact that he dared to tease and flirt with her. And she really opened up to him after that.
You need to do the same thing. Find something you can use to flirtatiously tease her. You’ll often find that you’ll make a woman’s day doing this. And she’ll instantly warm up to you.
Just in case you’re not feeling too creative… I’ll give you one now to test out.
If you’re talking to a nicely dressed woman, who’s carrying a shopping bag from some supermarket or store, tell her:
“You look really nice. But the bag doesn’t really match your outfit.”
5. Lead At All Times
This is probably one of the most important concepts. It’s also the one that you may find most surprising, compared to what you have traditionally learned about dating.
We learn to always try to please the girl. And we do that, because we believe it will get her to like us.
When going out somewhere, we ask: “Where would you like to go?”
Usually we get the response: “I don’t know. Why don’t you pick somewhere?” So we continue asking more questions like this, because we want to make her happy.
She’ll never tell you this… but when we do that, it seriously drives her up the wall.
Because… she wants you to lead.
Women like men who can make a decision. They want a man who is willing to make plans and chart out a course. It demonstrates important male characteristics that women find very charming. If she disagrees with your choice, she will tell you. But she will respect that fact that you made one.
This counts for all aspects of dating.
From asking her out, to initiating sex. It is the man’s job to lead… to invite her out… and to “make a move”, or whatever you want to call it. When a man doesn’t dare to make a decision, women see it as a weakness and an insecurity. And it is highly unlikely that she will want to take things further.
Next time you are with a woman, take the lead — with conviction. Suggest where to go, what to do and let her follow you. Your doubts on this will be swept away when you see her response.
So, To Recap The Main Points:
- Don’t be needy and approval seeking. Don’t try to make her like you.
- Talk to her as you would talk to your friends. Be relaxed and open.
- Let her talk about herself. And listen to what she says.
- Be playful. Tease her.
- Always take the lead. Always.
If you implement these principles, and make them a part of who you are… you’ll see many positive changes in your life with women. And you’ll become the kind of man who can choose women, instead of waiting to be chosen.
Still… this is just the start of your journey.
You need to know right now — the road to understanding the dynamic between men and women is long and winding, filled with many obstacles and conundrums. But the only way to progress is to never, ever give up.
Make a firm commitment to yourself now.
Develop yourself as a man. If you do, you’ll no longer need these “training wheels” or crutches. Attracting women will be a natural part of your personality — and you’ll never have to worry about this aspect of your life ever again.
What you’ve read here is really just the tip of the iceberg. We save all our best advice for our inner circle of email subscribers. And if you’re at all serious about getting this area of your life handled, you need to get on our list immediately.
Enter your email address in the box below, and click the “Unlock Secrets” button. And I’ll send the first technique to you immediately. (You’ll get the second technique tomorrow morning.)
To your dating success!