Ahh… going for the kiss. The bane of many hopeful seducers.
There are countless instances where timidity and uncertainty concerning when or how to kiss a girl have ruined a perfectly good date — and screwed up what could have been the start of a wonderful relationship.
It’s always a risk.
If we go for the kiss at the wrong time, we may get rejected and blow our chances. But if we don’t make a move, then nothing will happen. She’ll just move onto the next guy and put you in the friend zone.
It’s Your Job When It Comes To Kissing The Girl
As a man, it is your job and your responsibility to go for the kiss.
Society and media at large teach us that it’s men who have to take charge and push the interaction forward. The sociological pressures on women to not be seen as easy, or loose, mean they can’t do it. Evolution also demands that we lead. Women are hard-wired to be attracted to men who lead the interactions — men who take charge of the situation.
As men, it is simply our imperative to lead.
Very rarely will a woman initiate the kiss herself — unless you’re a sexual beast, who oozes desirability from every pore. (And if you are, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this article.)
Women have the luxury of leaning back, and passively awaiting our next move. But us men will only find heartache in this kind of passive behaviour.
We’ve heard so many stories from men who have been on a wonderful date with a girl, but just didn’t know how to go for this kiss. The conversation was flowing. Sparks were flying. But every time they felt the urge to go for the kiss, they hesitated. They didn’t know how to kiss the girl, or if it was the right time.
They hesitated. And so the girl got sick of it, and refused to see them again. Or, she told them that they should “just be friends” — even if they really liked the guy.
Girls find this kind of indecisiveness highly unattractive. And not daring to make a move is the express lane into the friend zone. It’s your job to kiss her.
Learn How To Stack The Odds In Your Favour
When you understand communication at a deeper level, knowing how to kiss a girl is made a lot easier. Because you have to take charge. And you’ll be better off if you learn how to interpret those crucial little signals, and tell-tale signs that allow both you and the girl to know when the time to kiss is coming up.
Having coached thousands of men, and having spent a considerable amount of years in the tranches ourselves… we’ve seen and heard all the stories, and experienced all the scenarios.
We’ve learned the subtle language that makes the sparks fly between and man and a woman — the language that goes on underneath all the verbal communication, which most men think is what makes things happen. As such, we’ve learned how you can use this understanding and knowledge to stack the odds of success in your favour.
If you implement the following principles, and learn to speak more of this “emotional” language with your interactions with women… you’ll start to see these hidden signals. And the problem of not knowing when to kiss her will be gone for good.
This article will change your entire dating life. And it’ll save you massive amounts of heartbreak, and wondering what you did wrong.
Sounds good? Then keep reading.
Understanding When To Go For The Kiss
In order to know when to kiss a girl, you need to be able to read the signals that she is sending out. And you have to know how to create sexual tension, through body language, eye contact, and conversational spikes — that is, conversation that has an undercurrent of sexuality. When you do that, clear opportunities to go for the kiss will present itself very clearly.
Now, you might be thinking: “That’s it? Easy!” Or, you might be thinking: “WTF? How the hell am I supposed to do that? It’s impossible!”
In a sense, you’d be right either way. Doing these things is simple. But it’s not necessarily easy. And reading someone else perfectly, from signals alone, is impossible. That why they call them “signals”. As with all things, this stuff is easy when you know how.
Practice makes perfect. And these following training wheels will help you along the way, until, eventually, you won’t have to give it any kind of conscious thought any more.
We men aren’t amoebas — totally incapable of understanding anything about women. It’s just… a lot of us suffer from false beliefs, and timidity. Both of these things can easily be remedied by following these steps. We’ve made sure to give you several good ways to create sexual tension and initiate the kiss. So there should be something for every personality here. Enjoy!
Creating The Vibe
That’s the word we use at Daygame.com, to refer to the general ambiance and energy of a situation or interaction. Some people call it “chemistry”. Some, “sparks”. Others, “love at first sight”. But we feel “vibe” is a simple way to say it, as it’s a term without too much sentimentality attached to it.
In this article, we’re talking about creating a sexual vibe that leads up to the kiss. So that will be the focus.
When students ask us about the timing for when to kiss a girl, we often say this: If you go for the kiss early on, it will seem rather needy. And if you try to kiss her without any lead up to it, it will feel really weird for the girl, because she has no reason to expect it. After all, you can’t have two hours of boring, friendly, interview-style conversation… and then expect her to be ready to kiss. You have to create sexual tension first. Then, kissing the girl will feel so much easier and natural.
To a large degree, having a good vibe is based on the girl liking you. (This is covered in our article, “How To Get A Girl To Like You”.) For the purposes of this article… we’ll assume she already likes you and is interested in you, and all you have to do is set the stage for the kiss without screwing up along the way.
The best way to do this is… just let the date unfold as usual, but keep it all slightly sexualized. (Women are just as turned off by the man who is too sexual, as she is by the timid guy who doesn’t dare make a move.) Don’t turn the date into an innuendo-spewing sexual comedy, like Austen Powers. Rather, demonstrate that you are sexual creature who has sexual desired, and be unashamed of it. Women love men who can show their sexual side, without getting invasive.
Sparking Sexual Tension
When it comes to knowing how to kiss a girl, a good rule of thumb is… get to the point where you know you could kiss her but you’re delaying it on purpose.
That is powerful sexual tension. She’ll be anticipating the kiss, feeling a turmoil of emotion inside of her… and will be craving to get closer to you.
This is not the same as not daring to make the move, or hesitating.
She knows you’re thinking of kissing her. And she knows you’re choosing not to. And this is very, very different. How does she know this? Because you’re telling her through your conversation — not necessarily verbally, but she’ll know.
Here are some ways you can do this.
Drop hints during normal conversation. Say things like, “I’m trying hard not to kiss you right now.” Or, “When I come back from the bathroom, I might try and kiss you.” Say this is a cheeky, playful way.
Look deep into her eyes as she’s talking, for around ten seconds.
Keep strong eye contact on and off — looking away sometimes, and then returning to her eyes.
Get closer to her a few times during your interaction, and lower your voice tone. Talk slower and more sensually — when telling her something important — and then retreat back and carry on.
If you’re sitting next to her at a table, lean over and get something on her side of it. Let your face get very close to hers, without making a move.
While she’s talking to you, lightly put her hair behind her ear — as if clearing it away from her face. She’ll most likely be flustered, and giggle a little before continuing.
Come in close to her face, and whisper something to her.
These things may not seem like much. But, as far as a woman is concerned, you might as well just have “SEX” tattooed on your forehead. Women are very, very receptive to these kinds of signals. She will understand you’re flirting with her. She’ll understand that you’re a sexual creature. And she will, if she likes you, respond by giving you signs that she wants to be kissed.
These signs include: stroking her hair… keeping strong eye contact with you… leaning towards you… and dilated pupils.
As a final test, pull her into you to see how “floppy” she is. If her body is relaxed, then the kiss is on. It’s time to make your move.
Going For It
Here’s how you make your move.
Use the “triangle gaze” method. Look into one eye, then the other, then her lips… and then her eyes again. When you do this, you’re clearly communicating that you’re thinking of kissing her. This association is hard-wired into the human brain.
She’ll anticipate the kiss, and mentally prepare herself. When you make your move, go in 90% of the way… then let her come in the last 10%.
Now you know how to kiss a girl. But you don’t want to jump her like a horny teenager. Instead, start slow and gentle. And be the first to break the kiss, and leave her wanting more.
Most women have never experienced this. She’ll certainly be perplexed, and fascinated by your calmness. And she’ll likely try to reinitiate the kiss. This is a good chance to tease her a little. Call her “desperate” or “needy”.
When you turn the tables on a girl like this, it’s very effective — not to mention, a lot of fun too. She’ll love not being “in control of the situation”, like she usually is with men. And she’ll definitely decide that you’re a guy worth keeping around.
Unless you’re close to your house, and plan on taking her back… keep it to light kissing. Save huge make outs for the bedroom, where you can take it to the next level. Otherwise, the tension might dissipate altogether. In fact, you might even want to not even kiss her at all until you’re back at your house, or hers. Instead, just create tension and anticipation.
What If It Doesn’t Work Out?
If you try to kiss a girl, and she turns her head or stops you… just remain calm, and continue the conversation where you left off. It’s really important that you do not react, or get sulky about it.
Many times, women will avoid a kiss for different reasons. Maybe there are a lot of people watching. Maybe her friends are there. Maybe she just doesn’t “know you well enough”. Just keep going. Try for the kiss later, or after you’ve taken her to a different location.
Often, when a girl avoids a kiss, it doesn’t mean “no”. Rather, it simply means “no, not yet”, or “no, not here”. If she stays with you after the attempt, it means she likes you. You just have to keep going.
For The Brave Out There
Kiss a girl the minute she arrives for a date.
Don’t try a hard make out. But at the point where you’d go for a handshake or a hug, give her a light kiss on the mouth instead. And then proceed as normal.
We’ve done this ourselves. And every time, the girl later said she was completely taken aback, and felt like she lost all control of the situation. This sets you apart from other men in her mind.
If you can pull this off calmly, you’ll advance miles in a single step.
If you follow the steps outlined in this article… you’ll have a much easier time, knowing how to comfortably and confidently lead an interaction with a woman towards a kiss.
Nothing in this world is 100% certain. You may find girls who don’t respond well, even if you’re doing everything to the letter.
Don’t let this dishearten you.
Some women have their own reasons for not wanting to kiss you, and they have nothing to do with you. Some just want to play games. And some send out signals without even being aware, or they do it to get attention.
It’s always better to go for the kiss anyway. As Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Let that be your motto. And know that eventually, you will start to recognize women that do these things. Then, you can just walk away, and save yourself a lot of time.
As you get better, you’ll also learn to recognize that slight feeling of arousal and rising intensity that accompanies the minutes leading up to a kiss. We men are hard-wired, just like women, to pick up signals unconsciously. And when a woman wants to kiss us, she sends signals that we feel — though we may not be conscious of it at all times.
When you learn to recognize that feeling… all outer markers will be superfluous and you will realize when you can go for the kiss.
In our own journeys — and in the journeys of our students — we’ve learned just how many opportunities we let pass, without ever even realizing it.
We often spent hours upon hours and several dates with women who were ready to take it further after ten minutes of meeting us… because we did not see the signals. We have even lost women when we thought we were doing fine… as she was flashing red lights saying, “Come take me!”
We had no clue.
Since then, we’ve learned how to recognise and understand the signals women sent out. And the world as we see it today looks totally different to anything we ever thought was possible when we first started out.
We understand the relationship between men and women — in a whole different way. And we’ve uncovered secrets about women that most men never find out… to the point where we can now approach women on the street, during the daytime, and get them to come on dates with us. This is all because we’ve painstakingly learned how to communicate in ways most men don’t understand.
What you’ve read here is really just the tip of the iceberg. We save all our best advice for our inner circle of email subscribers. And if you’re at all serious about getting this area of your life handled, you need to get on our list immediately.
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To your dating success!